Ken

My deepest sympathies and heartfelt concern go out to you and your "girl" in this time of tormoil and great distress. As a fellow human, and as a doctor, I have encountered my share of the sorrows of dealing with cancer in its myriad forms. As a doctor I cannot give advice on medical therapy here and will not. As a fellow human being I can only offer a few suggestions. First ask lots of questions of your medical care providers, as much of what you are told you will not hear, and much of what you hear you will not understand, the first, second, and sometimes third times through it. Second, cry when you feel the need, hug and hold when others feel the need to cry or be held, there will be enough to go around, and it truly does cleanse the soul, even if it does not wash away the cause of the sorrow. Third, be there----for whatever and whenever you are needed or desired--family is critical in support mode during these times of duress, and more is usually better. Fourth, make use of all available resources for education and support, as they are many and they are specifically there to provide support in areas that might otherwise be overlooked and never addressed. Fifth, you will realize that nobody else has to walk the mile that you and your girl each must walk in your shoes, although there are many who have walked similar miles in their own similar shoes who can be there to help you along. Have patience with others, as best as you can, as they are trying in often awkward and uncomfortable ways to express their true sympathies and caring concern for you both during these troubled and troubling times, although sometimes it may not immediately feel so to you. Lastly, trust your care providers to help you make the best decisions, working together with you and your girl as a team, a well informed team making a well informed series of decisions, as each bump in the road comes along, and you will get through this to God's given endpoint.

We have each in some way known the evil beast of cancer, some more personally than others, and each must come to grips with it in their own way. May God help you both through your rough points emotionally as well as help the science get you both through the treatment sessions. We are all here hoping and praying for you, your girl, your family, and for a good outcome. Regardless of how you each will feel at times, you are never truly alone, as long as you are among friends and family, which you will be, and are here.

Be well, friend, and may God be with you both in your times of need.


jeff