I found out yesterday that a friend of mine passed away the previous morning. He was right around my age, perhaps just a few years older. His heart just stopped beating while he slept. We're still reeling from the news and trying to understand how it could have happened (most likely he took too many pain medications, as he had back problems from a car accident).

Anyway, his funeral is tomorrow morning. His widow wants people to wear bright colours (she is adamant about no black being worn) such as tie-dyed shirts and pastel colours. He often wore bright colours, and she wants to honour him that way. She even stated specifically that I should wear my kilt, since it's colourful.

The problem is, I really don't want to. I just think it would be weird in this context. In my small rural Texas town, it would automatically make me the center of attention, and I don't think that's appropriate. Basically, my mindset is usually that funerals are not the place to dress in a manner where people will leave and talk about what you wore later, even if it's in a positive way. Plus, I don't even think I had ever worn the kilt around him, so it's not like he necessarily liked my kilt or even knew what it looked like. His widow has seen me in it, though, and thinks it's great (she's from England and has more appreciation for it than the locals would, I think).

So, what should I do? This is one of the rare cases where I'm actually NOT looking for an excuse to wear the kilt when its appropriateness is questionable. I'm actually looking for an excuse not to wear it. I just don't want to hurt her feelings or disappoint her expectations. I'm heavily leaning towards just wearing khaki trousers and a brightly coloured buttoned shirt. I'd wear a tartan tie, but I think she's trying to discourage any 'dressing up' as well.

What would you do in this scenario?