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American Scientific Speculator Magazine,
Jan.2004 Issue.
by Itsalla Phaker

Austrian paleo-genetic researchers reported recently that, while studying the remains of frozen Alpine mummies, they may have inadvertently stumbled upon what may be a previously undiscovered genetic material. Along side the well understood Adenine, Thymine, Guanine , and Cytosine polynucleotides, a new and highly complex molecular chain might possibly be added to the list. Affectionately dubbed "Tartanine" for its curious resemblance to the Scottish wool cloth, its function and effect on the body is not yet completely understood. However, now that the human genome mapping results are available for study, other scientist are beginning to report similar instances found in living tissue samples. Recent test results indicate that it is most commonly found in peoples of celtic heritage.


Computer Illustration
"Reports of the Tartanine nucleic acid chain now seems to be on the rise", says Dr. Klaus Hammer of the Austrian team. It should be noted that, although not new, the effects of Tartanine may have been suppressed for thousands of years by other genetic factors. In more modern times, the proliferation of fine spirits, lively music, pheromones, and other environmental factors may be responsible for the effects of tartanine becoming more prominent. There is some speculation among other researchers that this may also in part, be responsible for increased feminine libido as well as the recent upsurge in the popularity of the kilt. They also point out that much research still needs to be done.