I had about the fourth person today ask me if I play bagpipes (respectfully) and I figure it is high time for a FAQ. I made up a little word document with a picture of Lliam Neeson as Rob Roy at the top, and included the following text:

So What’s With The Kilt, Anyway?
I seem to get a lot of questions about this and thought it might be useful to put some of the more frequently asked ones up to help settle any confusion (and possibly create entirely new confusion). I’m happy to answer other questions asked respectfully.

Are you Scottish?
No, I’m American. You don’t need to hail from the highlands to wear a kilt. America is a melting pot of different ideas from different cultures. Pants on a man are a bad idea, ergonomically speaking. The Scots had a better idea.

What is the cause for celebration?
Every day that you get to wear a kilt is cause for celebration unto itself.

Do you play the bagpipes?
No. I play MP3’s. Sometimes MP3’s that contain bagpipes. Does that count?

Is that compliant with company dress code standards?
Yes.

Why don’t you wear trousers?
Men have been wearing “skirts” for thousands of years. Trousers were made popular as they were more practical for horseback riding. I traded in my morgan horse for a Dodge years ago, so I don’t need the trousers anymore. Kilts are far more comfortable to wear, are better suited to the male anatomy, and provide for a little extra color in an office world of khaki slacks and polo shirts.

Are you crossdressing?
No. The kilt is a male garment.

What is worn underneath the kilt?
This question is asked so often, and oddly most people don’t realize how inappropriate that is. If someone were wearing trousers you wouldn’t ask them this, and the kilt should be no different.