I think it's worth a heroic effort to try to save your marriage. Beg her to go to counselling with you. If one counsellor doesn't work out, try another. If you don't have a minister, finding one could benefit you both.

You can't change another person. You can only control your own actions. She may not agree to counselling, but you'll at least know that you gave it an honest effort.

All the best to you,
Sherry