A friend of mine e-mailed this to me and I thought I'd share it.

A major research institution has announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Governmentium".

Governmentium has one neutron,12 assistant neutrons,75 deputy neutrons,and 224 assistant deputy neutrons,giving it an atomic mass of 311.These 311 particles are held together by forces called morons,which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons it is inert.
However,it can be detected,as it impedes every reaction with which it comes in contact with.A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete when it would normally take one second.

Governmentium has a half life of 4 years;it does not decay,but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.In fact,Governmentiums mass will increase over time,since each reorganiztion will cause more morons to become netrons,forming isodopes.

This charecteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration.This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass".When catalyzed with money Governmentium becomes Administratium,an element which radiates just as much energy,since it has 1/2 as many peons but twice as many morons.