In was sitting in the eye doctors waiting room today while my wife was getting her eyes examined for new glasses. As I waited, I was browsing through a reader's digest. One of the jokes caught my eye.

A nervouse middle aged woman was touring a Scottish castle. She kept looking behind the group as if she thought someone was following them. The guide asked her what was wrong. She answered that she had read about all of the haunted castles in Scotland and was worried that she might see a ghost. The guide assured her, saying "Lass, in all the time I've been in this castle, I've never seen a ghost", How long have you been here?, the lady asked. To which the guide replies, "just over 300 years, madam"