My wife hosted a baby shower for one of her friends, and of course, I was kicked out of my own home. I rarely go to the bars in my town, but all my friends had something going on, and I thought that I could slip in a local watering hole and maybe catch a game on satellite TV. I wore my Stillwater Blackwatch heavyweight, and a decent button shirt with the usual fixin's.

Now mind you, I live in a small town of about 30,000, and the majority of those at the bar know me, and what I do for a living (police officer).

Crap on a stick! I wasn't there ten minutes, and I was being MOLESTED by several young lassies that I didn't know. The biggest question, of course was what was under the kilt. One was able to get the left thigh are up enough that she was convinced I had nothing on underneath, and she was right.

I had one drunked lady trying to convince me that by flashing her bare breasts at me, I was obigated to do the same and show her something. After all the tugging and attempts to reveal the 'Irish secret', I took to sitting on my kilt apron to maintain my dignity. And this was a "good" bar. Many other women kept approaching for pictures, and to see if I really was in a kilt.

Thank God all I was drinking was O'douls (whole different story) or otherwise, I would be in the Xmarks job search.

Told my wife all about it when I got home, and she decided that maybe she should not have any more baby showers.