So, in between hooking a few hats, I cracked open my textbooks for school. I have to do a scavenger hunt in a fabric store, a few into things, etc.

And I cracked open one of my actual lesson packets... And I don't know what to say.

I started dabbling in my jeweler's course and it made sense to me. I couldn't complete my lessons and fell behind because I just couldn't keep up with the costs of supplies, or tools, or trying to make a work bench, and some other reasons which I wont go in to... But the jewelery stuff made sense as I read it. Thus the switching of majors.

Dress Making and Design... It is like reading an alien language. There are hundreds, maybe thousands of technical terms I need to memorise. Stitches. Terms. Jargon. The language of, well, whatever these people that speak this language are called. Tailors. I cracked open my books and immediately felt overwhelmed, as if they expected people who take these courses to have well established backgrounds in the field. Which I don't. What I am studying is different too. In the jeweler's program, it was apply saw to brass sheet... Cut in circle. Now, there are things like design theory, design history, trends, fashion, etc. I don't keep up with fashion, in fact, my ideas of fashion are hundreds of years out of date. (Kilts, etc) I don't read women's modern fashion magazines. I don't know where I stand here. I understand fibres, and fabrics, and things of that nature just fine... I KNOW I'll do well in those areas. I know I'll do well in the design and creation process, at least I hope so. But fashion shows? Cat walks? Modeling? Fashion theory? Oh geeze, I am over my head. All I can think of for a fashion show is calling upon my fellow X Markers to come strut on a cat walk for me while I snap pictures or maybe cheating and borrowing a few pictures from Hamish to create a fashion gallery. I feel I am at a strong disadvantage here because I don't fit in with the 'in crowd.' I don't follow fashion trends. I don't fit in period with the mobs of people around me. I don't dress in the latest cookie cutter styles.

I feel a touch a panic. Hell, I feel a lot of panic. It is kinda like walking in to a room full of 'beautiful people' and knowing I don't belong there.

Or maybe I am just overwhelmed.