There's a cycle to buying a kilt.

You go on a few websites, exploring a few offerrings. What am I looking to buy this time? Wool? Acrylic? Tartan? Plain? How much do I want to spend? How healthy is my credit card? There's an excitement in looking through catalogues knowing that you intend to buy. There's, yes, tedium, too, trying to look at as many as you think you can afford.

Then there's determination. Yes. That's The One I Want. Ooh... I think I can afford that. Oh, what the hell. It can get a little scary going Place In Cart or whatever phrase the vendor uses. Then it's asking for a credit card...

Now comes the waiting. Who knows how accurate the quoted times are international shipping. The anticipation builds. Then one day, there's a card in your box...! Ah ha. The parcel is That Shape and you can tell just by hefting it what it is. Or else the return label will tell you. (Or even the custom's declaration.)

You get it home, open it up. The excitement is almost too much. It's glorious. You can't want to try your new kilt on. Off go whatever you wore this morning*, on goes the kilt. And ... it... doesn't... quite... fit.... **

Noooooo... no no no nonononononono...........

Yes, I got the measurements wrong.

Wade.

* Trousers, kilt, whatever.

** I couldn't post a crying smiley from flickr. :-/