I have just experianced the funniest day of my life,please bare with me whilst I explain.We have a distant relative and new bride staying with us for part of their honymoon and absolutly charming they are too.Anyway, I thought that there was a good chance of catching a salmon today so it was decided to go fishing.
So there I was sitting by the river waiting for the happy couple to arrive and in due course they arrived with Jack clad in his kilt.It was very smart and knowing where it came from, it was VERY expensive.So, after a sharp intake of breath I suggested that perhaps he ought to pop back and change."No problem" says he,"I will fish where I dont have to wade,so I will be ok.Fishing in the kilt is traditional in Scotland,is it not?" "Not in this part of the Highlands",said I.
So anyway the kilt went fishing and after while I left them to see what was going on down river.On my return I was met with the commical sight of Jack trying to fit himself and the kilt into a pair of chest waders with a singular lack of success!
After a very pleasent few hours fishing we returned home ,fishless,and proceeded to have a wee dram when I noticed Jacks legs covered in blotches.Yes you have guessed it ,the wee midge and its mirriad of reletives had struck.So off to the bedroom the not so happy couple fled to do some running repairs so to speak.The next thing I heard was gales of laughter coming from the bedroom."OK", thought I ,newlyweds get up to all sorts of antics so le them be.It turned out that Jack had 2 ticks attached to a vey embarrasing part of his anatomy!!!
The moral of the story?Take my advice and dont wear the kilt fihing,dont wear the kilt if you want to wear chest waders,dont wear the kilt where the Scottish midge will get you beause if they dont ,the ticks will!
Be warned that events like today are seriously painful to your sides!