Cruising Kilted Makes the Man

[Parthian MacGregor]

Hi Guys,

I wanted to give a Kilt Report about my experiences wearing kilts during a cruise. I have lots of comments about the cruising experience
itself, but will only mention one; Cruising is like being trapped in the mall, but the Food Court is open 24-7. Actually, we had a great
time, but mostly when the boat stopped at an island. But on to the kilt-wearing experience.

Kilt Armory:
SportKilt in MacGregor Modern (my family tartan)
Black Amerikilt (my first kilt) (black)
Blackwatch traditional from SWK (Saw one on SouthernScot at SMHG and
had to get a BW for myself.)

Other cool stuff:
Excellent Prince Charlie rental jacket, vest, and sporran from Tartan Museum. (Thanks Matt, it drove the chicks crazy, including my Spousal
Unit!)

The cruise line requires "country club casual" for informal evenings in the dining room, and tuxedo (or at least dark suit and tie) on the
two formal evenings. The first regular evening in the dining room all dress-code bets are off, as some people have not received delivery of
their luggage to their staterooms until 10 at night. Last dinner seating is at 8:30. We got out luggage at about 9:30. I wore a kilt,
and ghillies at every dinner but the first night.

Here is a list of what I wore for dinner each successive evening:

1st: Pants and shirt. Bah!
2nd: Black Amerikilt, black button-down shirt, garrison belt, day sporran, black hose.
3rd: (formal): BW, white tux shirt, bow tie, PC and vest, dress sporran, off-white hose.
4th: MacGregor Sportkilt, white button-down shirt, garrison belt, day sporran, black hose.
5th: BW, black button-down shirt, garrison belt, day sporran, black hose.
6th: MacGregor Sportkilt, green button-down shirt, garrison belt, day sporran, black hose.
7th: (formal): BW, white tux shirt, bow tie, PC and vest, dress sporran, off-white hose.
8th: BW, white button-down shirt, garrison belt, day sporran, black hose.

There was no rhyme or reason to the combinations. And I didn't plan it ahead of time, or consciously layout this scheme. But after writing
the above list just now I realize that I never wore the exact same combo twice! And I only wore the Amerikilt once. So, with only three
kilts I managed to show something slightly different to my fellow dinner guests for six of the 8 evenings. This is amazing to me,
because I have held the wrong belief that in order to be a good ambassador for kilt-wearing you have to have an arsenal of many kilts
in order to properly 'represent', as the fellas would say in 'da hood.'

Reaction to the kilt-wearing from my fellow passengers (all 2100 of them) was only somewhat predictable. I anticipated getting The
Question, and got it a lot. But what really amazed me was the openly gracious and friendly manner in which complete strangers approached me to say something nice. Isn't there a line written somewhere that reads, "Everyone smiles at a man in a kilt!" ? This is truly the case. Women who were nigh-on swooning, and men who wished they too were dressed for battle, all had something nice to say.

Many women said, "You look so nice!" I would smile big and take a few steps toward them and say, "So do you, my dear." I thought I was going to have to catch a few before they hit the floor. But maybe they were just returning from the bar and the boat swayed. To me, this was the most charming encounter.

Some polite ladies who really had a question on their mind began with, "So, is it true what they say..." I didn't even let 'em finish, and not to disappoint replied, "Oh yes, it's quite true." and gave 'em a big smile.

One formal evening a gal who obviously 'had a buzz on', and I kid you not... smoking with one of those long cigarette holders, walked past and said something really slow and naughty and blew a trail of smoke out like a train. My sweetie thought this was terribly funny and repeated the remark to me as if she had come up with the idea herself. Yikes!

For the women who brazenly asked outright, "Whatcha got on under that thing?" I replied, "Shoes and socks!" But if I could detect a little more bawdy tone in their voice they got, "My wee bagpipes, of course!".

Toward the end of the cruise I was walking down a passageway near our stateroom. A couple of older women who were cruising together were walking toward me grinning. I had seen them several times during the cruise but had never had the chance to speak. One of them said "We've really enjoyed looking at your legs this past week." With no comeback at all for that one all I could do was laugh.

Of the men who asked: "Regimental?" (some said "traditional" but I knew what they meant) my response was , "Aye!" and always got a laugh or a thumbs-up from them. One guy had to ask, "Where are your bagpipes?" And of course my immediate response required by kilt-response-etiquette was "Under me kilt!"

One day the missus sent me on an errand to the other end of the 1000' long boat. I was moving at a good pace when a guy said something to me in Gaelic and really startled me. I almost heard him clearly, or maybe I only subconsciously half-recognized the ancient tongue, but I smiled at him as if I understood, remembered my mission and kept moving. I sincerely regret not stopping to talk. He only said one word. Kind of spooky, actually. I get the same feeling whenever I hear The Pipes calling.

The only negative, and it's not really something that bothered me, was an incident with a lady passenger during a cocktail party. I was
standing at the bar talking with a retired NYPD officer who had been shot in the line of duty (you can imagine the great stories he was
telling us) and a woman about 65 or 70 put her camera up the back of my MacGregor and took a picture! I saw and felt the flash. Everyone was shocked, but none so much as her two friends, a man and woman from Glasgow who were mortified! She bragged that the picture would be up on the wall of her yacht club when she got back. I laughed it off, and she even offered to show me, but I told her that I knew what it looked like. Like other ladies, she also said I looked nice. I figured she was talking about the kilt. The couple from Glasgow was apologetic for their friend, but were so lovely in their manner and way of speaking, and asked about my ancestry, so I was pleased to tell them of the Blacks on my mother's side and their emigration from Scotland in the late 1700's. We forgot about the snapshot, and they moved on.

Mostly, the kilt turned people's heads. I don't really think I can 'feel' someone looking at me. But you can definitely tell when every
eye in the joint is on you. But there were no sneers or funny looks. Just friendly folks surprised to see a guy in a kilt. Nobody even
pointed. Well, there was this one time on the stairs.

I also observed a change in my demeanor over the period of a few days wearing the kilt, and consider this a personal breakthrough. At first, I asked myself, "Is it okay that I wear a kilt on a cruise ship?". Now, lots of you guys could wear a pink tutu and get away with it,
you're so darn manly. You don't care what people think. You are who you are and when it comes to wearing the kilt the rest can take a flying leap if they don't like it, right? I always thought that in order to wear the kilt you already had to be a manly-man, swarthy and
robust, all swagger and a fine cut of a man, fearless and brave, present and accounted for at St. Crispins. But I know now that
the kilt made me more of a man in my own mind. There, trapped in the mall with thousands of other people, buffet after buffet, I got something from the kilt and the answer to my original question. Of course it's okay to wear a kilt on a cruise, or anywhere else, for that matter! Not, "I wear it under the right circumstances" or maybe around the house or at Stone Mountain. I wear the kilt, anytime, anywhere. The kilt makes the man. Where the hell is my tutu?

I know that others of you have cruised kilted. Glad I got the chance to, as well. Hope you were likewise on the receiving end of so many warm smiles, dreamy glances, and good cheer as I was. I'll put up a picture when I get a chance.

Cheers,
~P