No Burns Supers in the area. No haggis in the pantry. What to do?

We've decided to have our own wee celebration. Instead of a haggis we'll cook up a few links of boudin (a south Louisiana pork and rice sausage which looks a bit like a haggis and, at least historically, was no stranger to offal).

For the occasion I'm attempting to translate "Address to a haggis" into Cajun English, with the appropriate cultural modifications to the text. Slow going so far, and not sure if I'll actually be able to get the whole thing done by this evening. Dixie longnecks for appetizers, and some red wine from a friend in Houma, Louisiana will replace the scotch.

If only I had one of those full-mask gator sporrans!

How's that sound, Cajunscot?