Finally! Me and my pith helmet!

[Coemgen]

How he got in my pajamas, I don't know.

I was outside the cabin smoking some meat. There wasn't a cigar store in the neighborhood!

Coemgen:
Friends, I am going to tell you of that great, mysterious, wonderful continent known as Africa. Africa is God’s country and he can have it. Well, sir, we left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second. After fifteen days on the water and six on the boat, we finally arrived on the shores of Africa. We at once proceeded three hundred miles into the heart of the jungle, where I shot a polar bear. This bear was six foot seven in his stocking feet and had shoes on at the time —

Panache:
Pardon me just a moment, Coemgen, just a moment. I always thought polar bears lived in the frozen North.

Coemgen:
Oh, you did? Well this bear was anemic, and he couldn’t stand the cold climate. He was a rich bear and he could afford to go away in the winter. You take care of your animals and I’ll take care of mine. Frozen North, my eye. From the day of our arrival we led an active life. The first morning saw us up at six, breakfasted and back in bed at seven. This was our routine for the first three months. We finally got so we were back in bed at six-thirty. One morning I was sitting in front of the cabin smoking some meat, when —

Panache:
Smoking some meat?

Coemgen:
Yes, there wasn’t a cigar store in the neighborhood. As I say, I was sitting in front of the cabin when I bagged six tigers. I bagged them to go away, but they hung around all afternoon. They were the most persistent tigers I’ve ever seen. The principal animals inhabiting the African jungle are moose, elks, and Knights of Pythias. Of course, you all know what a moose is. That’s big game. The first day I shot two bucks — that was the biggest game we had. As I say, you all know what a moose is. A moose runs around on the floor, eats cheese, and is chased by the cats. The elks, on the other hand, live up in the hills and in the spring they come down for their annual convention. It is very interesting to watch them come down to the water-hole. And you should see them run when they find that it’s only a water hole. What they’re looking for is an “elk-a-hole.” One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don’t know. Then we tried to remove the tusks, but they were embedded so firmly we couldn’t budge them. Of course in Alabama, the Tuscaloosa. But that’s entirely ir-elephant to what I was talking about. We took some pictures of the native girls, but they weren’t developed. But we’re going back again in a couple of weeks.