Interesting that this comes up today. I have been thinking about this subject since I learned last night that an elderly family friend passed in her sleep Monday, and I will be a pall bearer for her this weekend.

Having been in on the making of funeral arrangments several times, I often see that because these plans are by nature "last minute" and often emotional, the folks burdened with them sometimes have trouble making decisions that are always agreeable to the survivors, or even the deceased.

A unfortunate example of this was the funeral of my wife's paternal grandmother. My wife was very close to her, and Granny had stated some specific ideas about the funeral to us, but not in writing, nor did we pre-arrange anything. My wife's uncle kind of took over the arrangements and basically ignored most of these wishes. Without going into detail, this was so divisive that it culminated with several of us actually standing outside the chapel during the service.

To aviod just this kind of thing, I am one of those folks who has taken the precaution of planning for this eventuality in advance. Call me a control freak, but I see it as part of one's 'final wishes' just like my will. I recently amended my plans to include dressing my remains in my kilt. Most likely my favorite Ireland's National, but that may change over time too. We don't have any kids, and none are planned, and few relatives, so most of my material goods will be packed off to friends who might want them, contributed to various organisations, or sold. Honestly, if I go anytime soon, the instructions are for most of the kilt stuff I don't take with me to be sold or given away here on this forum. Hopefully I'll live another 100 years or so though, so don't get greedy!

I would recommend to everyone to take an interest in your final wishes, you never know what might happen! I know it's something no one wants to think about, but dying without a legal will is a real hassle to your surviors, and funeral preplanning if nothing else, takes a big burden off your family and friends.