A kilted laddie was tottering his way home after a very congenial kilt night, at which a considerable portion of the "Old and Pure" was consumed. Being that it was a fair distance home, he began to feel rather fatigued after walking for a while. He decided that stopping for a brief rest was in order, and settled himself comfortably against a tree in a nearby park.

As he was snoring away, a pair of young lasses on their way home from choir practice passed along, wondering what the noise might be. Upon investigation, they discovered the kilted lad and remarked on his handsome face and rather well-formed limbs.

"D'ye think it's true, then," asked one, "what they say about what's under the kilt?"

The other giggled and said, "I don't know, but d'ye think it'd be harmful to look?"

A brief discussion punctuated with titters ensued, and the first girl bent down boldly and lifted the hem of the lad's kilt. "Oh!" she said. "I see the rumours are grounded in truth!"

"Just a moment, Alice" said the second girl. Quickly removing her red hair ribbon, she tied a neat bow around what she saw. The first girl replaced the kilt and the two went away, more educated in the ways of the world.

Some time later, the lad woke up and rose to complete his journey. An odd sensation caused him to investigate, whereupon he stood staring.

"Ah dinna ken where ye've been, Laddie," he mumbled muzzily.

"But Ah can be proud ye've won fairst prize!"

(In Canada, red ribbons are for first prize...)