Quote Originally Posted by peacekeeper83 View Post
this might sound odd... but instead of asking us.... why not ask a trusted Japanese... if its a cultural issue.. wouldn't it be best dealt with in a cultural manner?... and might give you some respect for dealing with it in their manner...
It doesn't sound odd, but I'm asking the rabble rather than a Japanese for a specific reason. A Japanese can only react the way that is culturally and socially appropriate for him. For me to attempt to react in a way that is "Japanese" will be misunderstood, because I am not seen (or accepted) as Japanese, and never will be. The expectation is in place for me to behave and react as a foreigner.

I know that sounds like a lot of backtalk but like just about everything in this country, it's complex. Let me illustrate it this way: I've had numerous experiences of walking into McDonalds where I walk up to the counter and without saying a word, the McWorker immediately pulls out an English McMenu... They assume that 1) I am an English-speaking foreigner and 2) I don't understand any Japanese.

When someone walks into our office, they've already decided that no matter what words come out of my mouth will be unintelligible to their ears, and they've already resolved to behave in a certain way even before they knock on the door. Therefore, they are not expecting me to react to them in the "Japanese" way.

Anyway, since I posted up this thread, I've adopted one simple strategy that's been at least somewhat successful. When someone knocks, I've stopped saying "come in." Simple, dumb? Yes. Effective? Oh yeah -- about 50%. For the other 50% who will come in anyway, even when I don't say "come in" I think I'll try what people have been recommending for the past 2 pages of posts. One word answers. "Yes" or "No" and that's IT.