Strumming my pleats with her fingers
Jealous my swoosh wasn’t hers
Kilting me softly with her sarong
Kilting me softly with her sarong
Telling my first wife I’m authentic
Kilting me softly with her thong

I heard she piped a good song
I heard she had a style
And so I came to see her
To listen for a while
And there she was this young lass
Piping Auld Lang Syne

<Repeat Chorus>