I know how you are feeling. I had to put down my little girl over a year and a half ago now and reading your post brought up the sad memories for me. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my life. It was all very sudden; which hurt even more. I too had her since she was a little kitten. Every now and then I see little kittens or cats for adoption in the paper from the humane society and I think about her. Sorry for your loss.