Beard Advice

[Mike_Oettle]

Riverkilt wrote: “Beards are natural. They go well with kilts.”

I couldn’t have put it better myself.
Mind you, the first time I wore a kilt, I had not yet grown a beard. I didn’t have enough growth on my top lip at the time.
But on the next occasion I had to remove my beard before reporting for duty, which was a chore. However, I did not remove my moustache, which has grown unhindered for 40 years.
After that beards were permitted for the South African Army, so I went to camp bearded, only to be told to remove it.
The next time I was armed with a medical certificate (which admittedly was fraudulent) and kept the beard for the next two camps. It was also at that fourth camp that I dressed in the kilt for a church parade and was hauled off by the regimental sergeant-major, because he didn’t like beards. So I watched from the side of the street.
But at my last stint of duty I was cross-examined by the medical officer and again obliged to remove it. However, in addition to my moustache, I left the tuft in the middle below my bottom lip, and nobody ever remarked on it!
Since the morning before I returned home after that spell, I have not shaved.

I have no problem with men who grow only part of their facial hair, or who remove the whole lot daily.
But I am puzzled when I see a man who constantly keeps his beard short (as has become fashionable with the trimmers available today). My brother does this, and he (in my eyes) only looks decent when he is on the point of trimming all over again.
Sometimes a guy with permanent or semi-permanent stubble is just someone who hasn’t yet discovered that one can get past the itchy stage (am I glad I have not had that kind of itch for 32 years!).
And one of the weirdest kinds of beard is one where its owner trims his chin down to stubble, but lets it grow more or less wild on his throat!

The point has also been made that a moustache should not get in the way of food.
It is not for nothing that some moustaches are called soup-strainers!
I tried moustache wax for a couple of years, but I found the results unsatisfactory. I also did not want to look like some of the sergeants-major in my regiment who had the ends of their moustaches going out into points on either side, sometimes at quite sharp angles!
For many years I chewed the ends of my moustache off, but after losing an incisor crown during that exercise a few years ago I bought a trimmer designed for use in ears and nostrils, and run it along my top lip once a week.
Well, gentlemen, I have (I think) said all I need to say on the subject.
And to the ladies: Enjoy your bearded man (if you have one) or put up with stubble!
Regards,
Mike