The Scottish Military Field Hospital


The new commander in Iraq hears that a Scottish regiment has a specialized field hospital doing fantastic things with the troops. He wants to know what is so special about the place, so he arranges a tour. When he gets to the ward, it's full of patients with no obvious signs of injury or illness. He's perplexed, so he goes up to the first bed and greets the soldier there.

The patient replies:

"Fair fa your honest sonsie face,
Great cheiften o the puddin race,
Aboon them a ye take yer place,
Painch, tripe or thairm,
As langs my airm."

The general is confused, so he just grins and moves on the the next patient.
The soldier responds:

"Some hae meat an canna eat,
And some wad eat that want it,
But we hae meat and we can eat,
So let the Lord be thankit."

Even more confused, and his grin now rictus-like, the commander moves on the the next patient, who immediately begins to chant:

"Wee sleekit, cowerin, timorous beasty,
O the panic in thy breasty,
Thou needna start awa sae hastie,
Wi bickering brattle."


Now seriously troubled the General turns to th accompanying doctor and asks, " Is this a psychiatric ward?"

"No, not at all," replies the doctor.


"This is the Serious Burns Unit."



Seen on the Masonic Kilties of New Jersey Web site.