Most Physically Painful Kilt Experience?

[Ancienne Alliance]

A while ago, I was walking back from a gig not far away from home. I've had a few drinks so I left my car on the parking near the Town House; I would come and fetch it the next day.
Now I had to cross this very old forest called “La forêt des Fayes”. I usually use my cell-phone as a flash light, but is was full moon and I could see the road in spite of the trees.
There is a bent in the road where lies a very big mossy stone. I was just going around it when I saw three hooded ladies that just slipped out of the dark as if they where actually coming out of the stone itself. I was very impressed.
Being a gentleman, I saluted them with the usual “Bonsoir, Mesdames”.

Before I new what was happening I was swept off the ground and flying in the air above the trees. The “ladies” chuckled in a deep, low pitched voice. They where holding on to me so closely I could smell their breath; dead leaves and wet potato bags...

We finally arrived to a cave, up in the mountain where a fourth dame was there, visibly expecting our party. They all cast down their hoods. All had very long white hair beaming in the moonlight gushing from the cave's entrance. “Well, aren't you going to play for us, gentle piper?” For obvious reasons, I immediately proceeded to set up my pipes, roughly tuning them.

Something in particular, Mesdames?
Just play !

So I started playing the intro of Phil Collin's “Against all odds”. Proceeding with the song itself, all four of them started swaying, slowly and sensually bringing their hands from their thighs up to their shoulders and neck; plunging them in their think hair before raising their arms above their head, their white hair falling and flowing all around their bodies as in slow motion.

I just kept playing for hours, without a dram !
My mouth was so dry... It was horrible. I probably fainted in exhaustion.
When I woke up, I was wrapped up in my Day's plaid, lying on my chalet's front porch.

A terrible experience for sure !


Best,

Robert