The Rules of the Gentleman

[thescot]

I do like Todd's quote; it's one I've not read before.

I know that a gentleman is capable--and often guilty--of ungentlemanly behavior. However, the Rules as posted are certainly enviable at least in their intent and overall essence (to use a previously used term). I do like the list, and I shall likely share it with my step-son who is only just untering manhood.

I got him a book a while back entitled, The Ultimate Man's Survival Guide(I think that was its title) along with a couple of the books from Brooks Brothers: A Gentleman Entertains and How To Be a Gentleman. I know that each was at least looked at, and a few lessons were learned from them. He knows how to dress properly now without "the old man" trying to tell him how.

In an age when boys are not expected to act like boys and manhood is denigrated, I think it wise to attempt to perpetuate and live by a code of conduct that is at least addressed in the Rules of the OP. I may not agree with or keep them all, but they're a pretty good place to start. And I've enjoyed the wide-ranging discussion of the topic on this thread.

[BoldHighlander]

I may not agree with or keep them all, but they're a pretty good place to start. And I've enjoyed the wide-ranging discussion of the topic on this thread.

Hear! Hear!
I've been enjoying it to, Jim

[Gryphon57]

Perhaps the funniest post I've read all year....

I'm glad you liked it. It would explain a lot.

[Bugbear]

Well stated Bill. The problem with a term like gentleman is that it has evolved in meaning over centuries from someone who could live independently from an income derived from landholding in early modern Europe to evolving codes of socially perceptive and considerate behaviour. I am also aware that the concept (however defined) can be traced further back in many cultures and was something Confucius treated of in his writings in ancient China. One common feature of a gentleman throughout history is a concern with mutual relationships and obligations which are not necessarily legally mandated. ...

It's not Confucius, but I suppose "gentleman" could be substituted in to this; hope it's all right to quote.

1. The skilful traveller leaves no traces of his wheels or footsteps; the skilful speaker says nothing that can be found fault with or blamed; the skilful reckoner uses no tallies; the skilful closer needs no bolts or bars, while to open what he has shut will be impossible; the skilful binder uses no strings or knots, while to unloose what he has bound will be impossible. In the same way the sage is always skilful at saving men, and so he does not cast away any man; he is always skilful at saving things, and so he does not cast away anything. This is called 'Hiding the light of his procedure.'

2. Therefore the man of skill is a master (to be looked up to) by him who has not the skill; and he who has not the skill is the helper of (the reputation of) him who has the skill. If the one did not honour his master, and the other did not rejoice in his helper, an (observer), though intelligent, might greatly err about them. This is called 'The utmost degree of mystery.' (ch. 27)

I'm quoting from the old James Legge translation of Lao-Tze's The Tao Teh King (Project Gutenberg EBook #216).

[BoldHighlander]

Nice. Thanks for sharing that with us, Ted.

[Bugbear]

Nice. Thanks for sharing that with us, Ted.

I didn't feel up to wading through the writings of Confucius, but maby later on today.

[piperdbh]

It's not a "stick shift" or a "manual" either one. It's a "straight-drive".

[Meggers]

I do like Todd's quote; it's one I've not read before.

I know that a gentleman is capable--and often guilty--of ungentlemanly behavior. However, the Rules as posted are certainly enviable at least in their intent and overall essence (to use a previously used term). I do like the list, and I shall likely share it with my step-son who is only just untering manhood.

I got him a book a while back entitled, The Ultimate Man's Survival Guide(I think that was its title) along with a couple of the books from Brooks Brothers: A Gentleman Entertains and How To Be a Gentleman. I know that each was at least looked at, and a few lessons were learned from them. He knows how to dress properly now without "the old man" trying to tell him how.

In an age when boys are not expected to act like boys and manhood is denigrated, I think it wise to attempt to perpetuate and live by a code of conduct that is at least addressed in the Rules of the OP. I may not agree with or keep them all, but they're a pretty good place to start. And I've enjoyed the wide-ranging discussion of the topic on this thread.

While it may seem silly and "uncool" to the male youth of today, nothing is more attracted to a well brought-up woman than a well brought-up man. I hope to raise a very polite and kind young man and even though some girls may tease him, the women who will truly matter will be the ones who will cherish those qualities and vise versa.

[Bugbear]

I've been looking over D. C. Lau's introductory discussions in his translation of,
The Analects, of Confucius (Penguin, 1979), and I see what Peter is talking about; Confucius has a great deal of discussion of the "gentleman": eighty or so chapters, Lau says. A rather large lump of text..., but I'll put it on the reading list; I've been needing to get around to it, anyway.

[Panache]

A Gentleman...


Knows that Honor is a two edged sword and the sharper edge is always the one facing him

Deals in hard knocks and careful courtesy, nothing in between

Knows that poise is in the art of raising the eyebrow and not the roof

Knows all the rules of polite society and knows when they should be followed religiously and when they need to be set aside out of neccessity.

Treats all with respect and expects to be treated with respect by all

Can ride, dance, sing, fence, and shoot

Knows how to enjoy a fine vintage wine in august company as well as lemonade from a child's sidewalk stand

Knows how to dress well and knows that clothes can reflect the man, but most importantly knows that they certainly do not make the man

Is polite and well spoken

Knows how to trust and is trustworthy

Offers insult very rarely and never accidentally

Is kind to animals and careful with machinery

Is quick to sincerely apologize when at fault

Is the one who will always stand for their turn at the wheel, and more if needed

When the subject of Service comes up they think first of their obligations to serve instead of other's obligations to serve them

Keeps calm and always can be counted to carry on


Cheers

Jamie