Do you feel safe?

[Joshua]

I'll admit, Cowher, I've lately been a bit aggressive towards folks - especially those who feel like they have been discriminated upon by others in this forum, or feeling that they need to justify *why* they wear a kilt. Mostly due to the fact that I went through a similar thing back around the time that I started here.

I was taken aback quite severely when I found out it was a fairly popular opinion that only Scottish people, that LIVE in Scotland, should ever wear Highland garb.

Only, it didn't turn out to be a "popular" opinion. It turned out (at least on this forum) to be the opinion of one, maybe two people. It isn't even the opinion of the majority of residing Scots on this website!

Personally, I don't agree with trying to "convert" anyone's opinion. If I feel that need, perhaps I'll speak my peace to them and be done with it. If I fail, I most definitely don't have the right to be offended.

Ghandi said "No one can hurt me without my permission.", and ever since I decided that was a practice I would try to follow, my life improved. I stopped getting into fist fights over "words", I stopped feeling insecure and shallow when people talked negatively about me, and I stopped getting mad when someone expressed an unsavory opinion that may or may not affect me.

Personally, life is too short to constantly worry about the opinions of one or two people.

[KiltShot]

Okay guys. Here's a fellow who rightly or wrongly is feeling hurt by some of the conflicts... and he says so, and folks make fun of him. What's wrong here?

And no, saying 'Toughen up' or 'You're too thin-skinned' doesn't help. It's just more of the same kind of shots at him for being honest and asking for help. Since when was it a crime to ask for support?

There are far too many, far too good folks here to think that's the best representation of who we are.

Agreed.

Perhaps the primary question would have worked better as a poll with a scale of comfort level.

Or how about encouraging the result you want to see? All things seem to follow cycles and that can apply to moods as well. Posting comments about what we like about the forum would swing the mood in a positive direction. We often get what we expect.

Doesn't that idea sound good?

[Riverkilt]

And when others don't measure up to our expectations we can get angry, or feel the need to fix them or teach them.

The anger, or the need, is created by our original expectations - not the other person's behaviors.

[islandkilt]

Hey bro - how about some fraternity drinking songs instead....?

"A man in a kilt is a man and a half!"

A man and a half would properly beat the agony out of his soul in a rousing sunday sunset drum circle on the beach...

I gotta pack!

[Riverkilt]

You headed back?

Pics of kilted drumming on the beach - or kilted dancing with fire dancers on the beach would be therapeutic and great for that thread of action shots.

[BCAC]

Everyone wants a example of the type of attitude I don't want to see here?
BCAC has kindly provided us with the exact attitude that I would like to be drown out of this forum.
It's funny how I say to all ~remember to be kind!~ and panties get bunched and tempers rage. Chill out boys. It only my opinion. Sheesh.

So, I have the sort of attitude that you don't want to see around here? OK.

But first, what do you mean by saying you don't feel safe here? Myself, I cease to go to places where I don't feel safe. How in heaven can you not feel safe on an internet forum? Do you just want a forum where everybody says only nice things? Do you want a forum for non scots kilt lovers who love each other too (as it seems like you people have run off jock scot already)?

If I stick around here, I want to be sure that if I post a photo that looks bad then someone will tell me it looks bad (and why) without him having to wonder if he has hurt my feelings!

It's got to be where I'm hesitating to post something, and having to type my posts several times, for fear of upsetting someone, so perhaps it is time to leave.

[Father Bill]

Hey folks - since when have kindness and good manners been incompatible with honesty?

[JRB]

Hey folks - since when have kindness and good manners been incompatible with honesty?

I've got to agree whole heartedly. One can be both honest and tactiful/polite without compromising either value.

[auld argonian]

Kindness, yes.

Good manners? I've known a lot of people with impeccable manners who were, at the core, not very nice...they say, "I beg your pardon" as they twist the knife in your back.

This group has always been pretty responsible and respectful, though...one of the reasons why I always check back here.

Total shame if some of the recent discussions have made some of our most valued members stay away from the forum. Jock has always been a real reality check on some of the excesses that some of us stray into...always brings things back to earth.

In the immortal words of Rodney King, "Can't we all just get along?"

Best

AA

[DWFII]

I've got to agree whole heartedly. One can be both honest and tactiful/polite without compromising either value.

Really? I haven't seen anything that comes even close in public dialog since 1969. Political correctness is the most dishonest way of relating to other people that I know of. It literally breeds dishonesty. And everything I have seen in 66 years of living tells me that most people today don't know the difference between civility and political correctness--I suspect most are just too lazy to confront those who are convinced that there is no difference.

I don't post much here anymore because there is large contingent here that do walk in lockstep. And do expect others to fall in line.

And people take offense so readily--just try coming onto this board...not "one of the boys"...and express an opinion that differs from the official canon. It's not just the feeding frenzy of the "rabble" that ensues (how can "politeness" or "behaving like gentelmen" have any authority when we define and think of ourselves as "rabble?' It's like naming a dog "Killer' and expecting it to to be gentle around children)...It's not just the feeding frenzy alone, or the pressure to conform to a skewed and one-sided vision of tolerance, it's the behind the scenes sniping and reporting abuses at the drop of the hat that, even if not seen or overt, poisons the well. And it's all so blithely accepted...maybe that's the real rub.

Everyone has their positions so well staked out...and defiantly staked out...no one even needs to read the other guy's posts--not for understanding or meaning, at any rate, just to verify if the "code words," the proscribed ideas, are there or not there.

But hey, don't mind me...I'm just an "auld crabbit" and haven't felt safe from the "rabble" since day one.

Yes...that's a rant...no excuses.