"Arrested" by an Ex-Pat Scottish Kilt Police Lady

[Riverkilt]

So I'm kilted at my brother-in-law's wake in Ohio. A Scottish lady now living in the U.S.A working as a college professor, asks about my kilt's tartan. When I told her it was the Official State of Arizona tartan she felt she needed to "educate" me and said that tartans were only for clans. So explained I had a number of tartans in my various ancestral clans. So she felt she needed to further educate me that I should only have one kilt in one tartan, that of my father's clan. AND....that one kilt should have been handed down from my grandfather to my father to my son...didn't bother to tell her no son....she was quite well into the wine and feeling very sure of herself so I politely excused myself... but she wanted to continue the lecture. I just said something to the effect of, "Look, my ancestors were kicked out of Scotland during the Clearances so we've sort of changed 'the rules' a bit in the time since." Then I moved on to circulate more. Gotta love the helpful kilt professors...

[Domehead]

Your discretion is admirable. I've never had this situation and I live in Rochester, NY - close to southern Ontario & thick with Scots. However, I'd like to ask these individuals, "Then, you are familiar with Wilson's Key Pattern Book? Logan's Thread Counts? The initial Government Regimentals and their numbering? The Industrial Revolution & George IV's visit? Sir Walter Scott and Romanticism? The existence of "District" tartans eventually co-opted as "Clan" tartan? The repeal of 1782? etc., etc., etc.,...just to see what they might say.

Anyway, considering the circumstances surrounding this encounter, I will apologize to you for her.
Slainte

[Nick the DSM]

There are rules and then there are rules. Wonder which one one is the one to follow.

[MacMillan of Rathdown]

Your discretion is admirable. I've never had this situation and I live in Rochester, NY - close to southern Ontario & thick with Scots. However, I'd like to ask these individuals, "Then, you are familiar with Wilson's Key Pattern Book? Logan's Thread Counts? The initial Government Regimentals and their numbering? The Industrial Revolution & George IV's visit? Sir Walter Scott and Romanticism? The existence of "District" tartans eventually co-opted as "Clan" tartan? The repeal of 1782? etc., etc., etc.,...just to see what they might say.

So what do you say if their answer is "Yes."?

[Riverkilt]

Thanks Domehead. Since it was my sister's home and her late husband's wake - and most, including this lady kilt cop, were "well oiled" decided there was no point in doing anything other than politely drifting away and letting her seem assured of her superior knowledge...

Burning in my brain was the thought - your ancestors kicked my ancestors out and now you wanna tell me how to live over here??? Let me up.

[derosa]

I think if they say yes you order yourself a scotch and sit down for a long and interesting conversation into history and convention.

I've yet to run into this as well and several of my mother's friends are from Scotland; they just tend to think that it is an interesting novelty just seeing the kilt and don't even concern themselves with the tartan.

[Domehead]

Riverkilt, no bother a'tall.

MacMillan of Rathdown, I would'nae be rude, but I'd have to point out the fallacy in their rigidity. If one is aware the progression of "clan" tartan, then one is surely aware of custom / convention (91tbrick) versus "rules". To wit, I'd take Jock Scot's route and acknowledge, when I'm in Kelty, Dundee or Ayrshire - where family whom never immigrated still reside, then I would act the "Roman"...so-to-speak. But, in the USA, where Highland dress is a little less convention and a little more hobby, with a nod toward perpetuating a distinguished characteristic of heritage, then I'd ask they, too, be a "Roman" in our "Rome".

Without hijacking the underlying tenor of the OP's idea: IMHO, 'tis in poor taste for her to engage as such, considering the circumstances of the gathering. That's not to say Riverkilt's family did'nae approach this happening Irish Wake stylee, but you'd think everyone could keep at least one eye on the ball.

[flairball]

This is exactly why I play dumb about things such as clans, rules, and customs. If asked about my kilt I simply answer hat I wear a kilt because I like them. Of course this is true, too. When the kilt professor deems it nessasary to lecture me about how I'm doing it wrong, breaking convention, or whatever, I just remind them that we're in America where we have a long tradition of doing things our own way. And sometimes I inform them that I don't care either. Why complicate things?

[seanachie]

So I'm kilted at my brother-in-law's wake in Ohio. A Scottish lady now living in the U.S.A working as a college professor, asks about my kilt's tartan. When I told her it was the Official State of Arizona tartan she felt she needed to "educate" me and said that tartans were only for clans. So explained I had a number of tartans in my various ancestral clans. So she felt she needed to further educate me that I should only have one kilt in one tartan, that of my father's clan. AND....that one kilt should have been handed down from my grandfather to my father to my son...didn't bother to tell her no son....she was quite well into the wine and feeling very sure of herself so I politely excused myself... but she wanted to continue the lecture. I just said something to the effect of, "Look, my ancestors were kicked out of Scotland during the Clearances so we've sort of changed 'the rules' a bit in the time since." Then I moved on to circulate more. Gotta love the helpful kilt professors...

I have had one instance where someone became belligerent and was giving me a bad time and refused to let up. I think what infuriated them more was specifically not arguing with them, because that was what they were looking for.

[westy1970]

Good on you for keeping a cool head and handling the situation with grace. Not sure I would have done the same as my family was kicked out of Scotland during the clearances and she was, obviously, a collaborator.