You do the best you can with what you've got..

[faithwalker]

Matt
***
As most of our functions are not "strict" dress code, those who matter won't mind and those who mind don't matter anyway.

[Singlemalt]

In my personal life and by nature I am a pretty casual dresser. However, I always try to be polite and courteous in my dealings with others. If invited to an event with a dress code I would either meet or exceed expectations or decline the invitation out of courtesy. Sure I have the freedom to do what I want but I choose to be polite.

While, I don't attend a lot of these events most of those I am invited to I am on the guest list because of my association with my employer, community, a charity or conservation group I volunteer for. This adds another whole dimension because it is not just all about me. I am also representing them at the event and am conscious that that carries responsibility to do so well.

[kilted scholar]

Alan.

Just so you know and you may find this handy to bear in mind for your trip over here later in the year, dress codes are quite normal over here and whilst white tie events are not common, black tie events are and there really is little fuss over it. But we do try to conform to it as a matter of course.Why? Well, I think the participants do like to dress for a "special do" and most certainly the ladies do love to dress up for the occasion. So when in the UK do not rely on the 9.9999999 out of 10!

That's very interesting. I am 65 and have lived most of my life in the UK and have never once been invited to a black tie event, never mind a white tie one. We live and learn ... Do I feel deprived? Not a bit of it!

[Jock Scot]

That's very interesting. I am 65 and have lived most of my life in the UK and have never once been invited to a black tie event, never mind a white tie one. We live and learn ... Do I feel deprived? Not a bit of it!

I suppose it depends on the circles we move in AND motivation in grasping opportunities when they arise. But to give an example of the opportunities that arise fairly early in life would be a the local high school at Fort William(not by any means an Eaton!) The school leavers who are going onto other things in life will wear black ties to the end of school bash. Another would be the local golf club which is not in the big league by a long chalk will hold black tie events. So hardly rating high on the scale of things and all that is needed is a few £'s to buy a ticket if it is a public event. And of course the are private invitations to go to ,if you happen to move in those circles. I would have thought that the world of accademia would be quite used to black tie events?It certainly did in another life that I once was loosely connected too!

[Panache]

I have read this thread with interest and in general agree with Alan.

However if an event is listed as black tie or white tie (or equivalent) then as a guest you have a responsibility to your hosts to conform by that required dress code. When you RSVP "Yes" you are agreeing to being part of an event and it is not right or fair for you to stand out by not following the dress code.

It isn't always about "us", sometimes it is about the other fellow.

Now you may contact the organizers of a white tie / black tie event and ask if there is some leeway, that is fine. But if the dress code is strict then either respectfully decline or respectfully attend.

For other situations use what you have and try your best to look nice and be yourself.

Cheers

Jamie

[unixken]

Now you may contact the organizers of a white tie / black tie event and ask if there is some leeway, that is fine. But if the dress code is strict then either respectfully decline or respectfully attend.

If you are the one arranging the event, might it be worth driving the point home by wording the invitation with "strictly", "required", or "expected"?

"Black Tie Strictly Required"
or
"Expected Level Of Dress: White Tie Only."

Or does that kind of emphasis exceed some level of acceptable etiquette?

[Alan H]

I don't think that exceeds any etiquette rules...I mean, it's YOUR event. If you want to decree that everybody has to attend naked with a birds nest in their hair, that's your right. It's YOUR event. Just don't be surprised if attendance is not quite what you'd hoped.

Still.....55 years and counting, here in California and never once been invited to an event with a dress code. However, I'm not associated with the military in any way, and I certainly understand, how military functions might have a dress code...or actually dress regulations, even!

Now I DID attend Episcopalian day school for a while in 1st and 2nd grade where we had a required uniform!

[unixken]

The most recent event I attended, that specified a dress code, was last month's Change of Watch ceremony (a Change of Command), with the Coast Guard Auxiliary. The invitation read "Required Dress: Service Dress Blue Uniform with Decorations, or Equivalent Civilian Apparel", to which I wore my Charcoal Argyl, 5-button waistcoat, white shirt with cufflinks, neck tie, a dress sporran, and mini-medals. My date wore a black evening dress.

[Panache]

If you are the one arranging the event, might it be worth driving the point home by wording the invitation with "strictly", "required", or "expected"?

"Black Tie Strictly Required"
or
"Expected Level Of Dress: White Tie Only."

Or does that kind of emphasis exceed some level of acceptable etiquette?

A simple "Black Tie" on an invitation is more than enough for the host. Do you really want....


"Black tie! We really mean it and will kick you out if you don't comply!!!!"

Come come! That sort of thing is absolutely unnecessary! Politeness and respect is thinking about the other person. If you have a question then by all means politely ask your host. The burden is not on them to enforce dress standards, it is on the guests that have accepted the invitation to the event and all the requirements thereof.

Cheers

Jamie

[unixken]

And that's exactly what I was wondering. It seemed like it had crossed some threshold, but unless or until the invitee calls beforehand with questions, what are the alternatives... to let someone in that doesn't know "black tie" from "sport coat and sneakers", or flat turning them away at the door. :/