Daughter's objection to the kilt - need advice.

**Spinnaker** · 6th April 13, 07:00 PM

Hello Rabble!

I brought my first kilt (so far) about 9 months ago. I plugged into my calendar every day of significance to the kilt. Justified to my wife the purchase with the oft quoted line of "yes, I do plan on wearing it more than once." Wore it to the Scottich Highland Games I Pleasanton. Wore it to work on the day of the openning of London Olympics. Wore it around the house since then. Then, this tartan day, I planned on wearing it. Said I was going to wear it. Packed it for our trip to Murphy's, CA for the weekend to wear it. And the morning of the day, my daughter said it would embarrass her.

Now, I've read the many threads about overcoming the objections of the wife, but I haven't found any advice about how to address objections by the children; especially a 10 year old daughter who is discovering the notion of "cool". The kilt is new to her senses, even though I have explained that her last name is a Scottish name, despite being more known as a popular band of soup.

Any advice is appreciated.

**Downunder Kilt** · 6th April 13, 07:05 PM

Only advice I can give you is that you have about 6 or 7 more years of it. My grandaughter will not bee seen with me when I am wearing a kilt
She is 14. A lot of her peer group think it's cool but to her, it's a matter of "where can I hide, so good luck.

**California Highlander** · 6th April 13, 07:22 PM

Just wear it, with an eye towards the event. I have 11 and 13 year old girls, a 15 year old boy. I've worn the kilt to HS sporting events occasionally. I'm generally ignored by kids, positive comments from parents. My 11 year old and I go to a tartan day fest every year. She's more tolerant. The 13 year old was mortified when I picked her up from a group event wearing the kilt. I thought it was just a pickup, but the girls were still eating, so the parents invited me it and we chatted in the hall in full view of the girls in the dining room. However, no one "died" and one of the girls is on a team I coach and she never even mentioned it. Some of the other 10-13 year old players on the same team have seen me in a kilt and have asked questions, but are very satisfied with truthful answers. (Scottish heritage, I like wearing it, and it's comfortable). My 15 year old son frequently asks why I'm wearing it, and I just say the same reasons why he wears basketball shorts all the time--I like it and it's comfortable.

If you are in Murphys, that seems pretty appropriate and remind her that none of her friends will witness her father's "bizarre" clothing choices!!

**ForresterModern** · 6th April 13, 07:33 PM

Get used to it. Ignore it. Tell her she can walk ten paces behind you or ten paces in front of you if she does not wish to be seen with you. She can sit at a different table in a restaurant. Don't try to reason with her, she is a pre teen and not logical in general. Nothing you do or wear in her presence will be cool enough for her. She would most likely not be seen with you at all. Tell her it is either you wear the kilt or a fluorescent speedo bathing suit, and take her shopping at a swimsuit store to show her the exact one you will buy to wear. You dress in a kilt you embarrass her, you dress in age appropriate fuddy duddy clothes and you embarrass her, you dress in hipster young clothes like her friends and you are a poseur and you embarrass her. What are you to do? Just wear it and smile in the satisfaction of knowing that both you and she are normal and have as healthy a relationship as a father and a ten year old daughter typically have. Enjoy your kilt. Wear it in style, with pride and confidence.

**tadyergey** · 6th April 13, 07:37 PM

I made my 10 year old son and 8 year old daughter each a kilt. I wear mine all the time and neither have an issue... Take her to a celtic festival or highland games and let her seen that there are loads of folks wearing them.. I wish you luck

**Downunder Kilt** · 6th April 13, 07:37 PM

Originally Posted by ForresterModern

Get used to it. Ignore it. Tell her she can walk ten paces behind you or ten paces in front of you if she does not wish to be seen with you. She can sit at a different table in a restaurant. Don't try to reason with her, she is a pre teen and not logical in general. Nothing you do or wear in her presence will be cool enough for her. She would most likely not be seen with you at all. Tell her it is either you wear the kilt or a fluorescent speedo bathing suit, and take her shopping at a swimsuit store to show her the exact one you will buy to wear. You dress in a kilt you embarrass her, you dress in age appropriate fuddy duddy clothes and you embarrass her, you dress in hipster young clothes like her friends and you are a poseur and you embarrass her. What are you to do? Just wear it and smile in the satisfaction of knowing that both you and she are normal and have as healthy a relationship as a father and a ten year old daughter typically have. Enjoy your kilt. Wear it in style, with pride and confidence.

Thank you for so eloquently explaining what I was trying to get at in my post. You are a wise man F.M.

**Riverkilt** · 6th April 13, 11:05 PM

Go kilted to the local mall with her. Instruct her to walk behind you about 20 paces as you walk around the mall. She'll hear all sorts of positive comments after people pass you. AND...the last organ in the body to fully mature is the brain. The last part of the brain to mature are the frontal lobes...where we make decisions and find logic. For females, they don't mature until about age 22 (26 for males)...so don't expect her to make good decisions or be logical until then. "What's wrong with my kid??" NO FRONTAL LOBES!...any kid...all kids...

**rondo** · 7th April 13, 12:22 AM

If none of the above advice works you could always put her up for adoption. I keed, I keeed!
Rondo

**xdepuydt** · 7th April 13, 12:59 AM

In my eyes the key to the solution is imbedded in one of the sentences you wrote. You "justified to your wife the purchase with the oft quoted line of "yes, I do plan on wearing it more than once.""
If you feel that you need to justify, you send the message that somehow you are crossing the borders of what is acceptable. Your daughter reacts to this automatically. There is no reason for inventing excuses. To wear a kilt is something perfectly normal and if you want to do it, you simply do it.

**llyd** · 7th April 13, 05:25 AM

Originally Posted by xdepuydt

In my eyes the key to the solution is imbedded in one of the sentences you wrote. You "justified to your wife the purchase with the oft quoted line of "yes, I do plan on wearing it more than once.""
If you feel that you need to justify, you send the message that somehow you are crossing the borders of what is acceptable. Your daughter reacts to this automatically. There is no reason for inventing excuses. To wear a kilt is something perfectly normal and if you want to do it, you simply do it.

I wish some wise person would have said this very thing to me about fifteen years ago..and that I would have had the brains to listen. Might have saved me some aggravation over hte years.