Etiquette for Young Men

[Geoff Withnell]

You may have forgotten the old story:

Navy Chief: "Why do all your young recruits use such foul language?"
Marine Gunnery Sgt: "We teach then that in boot camp to protect their morals."

"Protect their morals?! How does that protect their morals?"

"That language will get get them throw out of any well run bawdy house in any port in the world!"

I agree completely. Proper etiquette and manners begins with speaking in a respectful and tactful manner. Heck, enlisting in the U.S. Marine Corps will definitely teach young men proper etiquette, in which arguably, they'll retain for the rest of their lives.

[thescot]

This is a very interesting, and, I think, important thread. Civility is in decline, I think, and helping young men develop proper behavior is a good start for them.

Top items to include (according to Thescot's rules and regulations) would be:
1. Hat etiquette--I am incensed by the prevalence of hats at the table in inside a building. It doesn't take much in the way of brains or breeding to remove one's hat. Wearing a hat is acceptable only outside or at a bar. Even at a table in a bar, one should remove one's hat.
2. Table manners--nothing speaks of bovine origins like bad table manners. I don't mean using the right fork, I mean just not acting like a pig.
3. Demeanor upon introduction. I like the thought that a man should look you in the eye and offer a firm, proper handshake, even if a very young man. Buddy hugs are for buddies only and should be relegated to the gym. Nothing gave a worse impression to me when my daughter began entertaining young men that a boy who would not look me in the eye and shake my hand. (In that moment, I could instill the fear of God Almighty in him should my daughter be mistreated! )
4. Being a gentlemen with respect to all females, especially in public. Holding a door or a chair, or offering the last seat goes a long way with anyone.
5. Just be respectful toward everyone. (Guys in the gym or frat house are excepted from this rule.)

There are, of course, other refinements--I like to hear "Sir" and "M'am," and I use them prolifically--and I bristle when a young waitress calls me "Baby" or "Honey." I am neither. My youngest is 33! If I were their Baby or Honey, their boyfriends would be very sad as the young lasses would be throwing rocks at them for being so inept and boring!

[dutchy kilted]

I have attempted to teach my son that a firm handshake, eye contact, and the correct way to introduce yourself are all very important skills.

Your hardest job may be convincing the young lads that they can in fact turn off a mobile device and their heart will keep beating.

[TheOfficialBren]

Reminds me of my comment about my relationship with the 4-Star general who runs the agency at which I work. I work directly with him often enough that he remembers me, and I joke that we are on a first name basis. He calls me "Geoff"......... and I call him "General".

Yup! I have heard it said that generals can't wear those "Hi! My Name Is --" nametags because they are all named "General."

[Lee Bradbury]

Not sure these have been mentioned (I did scroll through but might have missed them) which might be of use:

http://etiquette-tips.com/ and http://www.debretts.com/etiquette/br...behaviour.aspx

Just an aside; I worked as a Security Officer for a number of years in a large UK shopping centre. Whenever I went into a shop I would always remove my cap and this didn't go unnoticed as the lady who ran the Home Brew shop was so impressed that every Xmas she'd give me a few bottles of homemade beer, wine and try to fill me up with spiced wine on Xmas Eve which wasn't too good when trying to patrol afterwards.

[Manxstralian]

Your hardest job may be convincing the young lads that they can in fact turn off a mobile device and their heart will keep beating.

I absolutely agree with this! I was recently working with people between twenty and thirty (I am thirty-seven) and they would all be shocked if they came to my house for food or drinks and I would insist that mobile phones are turned off in my house. Unless you are waiting for someone to arrive who may need directions, constantly checking your phone is a sign that you are not interested in the conversation, and you are waiting for someone more interesting to contact you.
Of course, you are more than welcome to wait for them on the street, but not at my table!

This, plus the lack of proper handshakes (with eye contact), and decorum around women (especially older women) is something that has declined rapidly since I was a teenager.

Cheers,

Cameron

[Laird_M]

Whilst its not exactly etiquette, one thing that may be worth including is the treatment of those less able than ourselves.

We have a scout in our troop who has lots of food allergies/intolerances, and several mental health issues. The troop as a whole, and his patrol in particular, without input from the leaders, decided to look after him, warn him of any foods that may be of issue to him, cheer him on, take it easy on him in rough games, etc.
I couldn't be prouder of them and to see him smile, well, it just gives you that warm feeling.

[Kiltboy]

Cygnus, if you need more ideas, Google "interview skills" for plenty of tips and training. Many can be related to etiquette topics.

Plus if you are looking for motivitation for young men to learn etiquette..... what better motivitation than a job interview?

[Geoff Withnell]

Actually, I think the best motivation for a young man to practice etiquette is a young lady. Case in point:
Riding home at rush hour in the DC Metro Red Line, an extremely busy subway line. I am old enough to take one of the "senior/handicapped" reserved seats, but since I am in good shape, I don't insist on it. A young couple was seating in the seats so marked near the door. Not a problem at first, as no one was looking to use them that was "senior/handicapped". An elderly lady got on the train, with one of those really serious canes with four feet at the bottom, and looking very uncomfortable standing. The young couple were chatting on, oblivious. I spoke to the young man - "Sir, I believe this lady here would really appreciate that seat." He looked up at me, told me to perform an anatomical impossibility upon myself, and turned back to his girlfriend. The young lady (showing she deserved the term) stood up, said "Here, Ma'am, take my seat.", and moved away down the car. The young man followed, but she cut him dead. I would like to think he learned a lesson, but I am cynic enough to doubt it.

Cygnus, if you need more ideas, Google "interview skills" for plenty of tips and training. Many can be related to etiquette topics.

Plus if you are looking for motivitation for young men to learn etiquette..... what better motivitation than a job interview?

[Liam]

Whilst its not exactly etiquette, one thing that may be worth including is the treatment of those less able than ourselves.

We have a scout in our troop who has lots of food allergies/intolerances, and several mental health issues. The troop as a whole, and his patrol in particular, without input from the leaders, decided to look after him, warn him of any foods that may be of issue to him, cheer him on, take it easy on him in rough games, etc.
I couldn't be prouder of them and to see him smile, well, it just gives you that warm feeling.

Well done.... from my fond memories of being a Cub Scout more than 50 years ago, I congratulate all the "Leaders" who have over the years as you so modestly have contributed to this wonderful sign of respect that your troop illustrated! You say they had no input, rubbish they had the example of what you and the Scoting organization have always displayed. Again I say Well Done!

Slainte...Bill