Ettiquette for young ladies

[BCAC]

I think that perhaps these "young ladies" (and the "young men" also) react badly to common courtesy and good manners because they are lost, not used to it and don't really know how they should react. They have never been taught.

[Richrail]

My wife and I taught our boys to open doors for women out of common courtesy. We also taught our daughter to wait for the door to be opened for her. We also would not allow our children to refer to our friends by first name, it was always Mister and Missus or Ma'am unless they are very close friends then they were allowed to be addressed as Aunt or Uncle. When I was a assistant bank manager one of my duties was to train new staff members. Most of the branch staff was made up of young college age people who had to be trained to refer to customers as Sir and Ma'am . The average age of the customer at the bank branch I had was 65 to 70 so my customers greatly appreciated that the young people who worked there were so very respectful.

[CDNSushi]

Truth be told, I generally see no need to distinguish between the genders of those for whom I hold a door open. If somebody, be they male or female, are entering or exiting within a few steps of me, I am happy to hold the door open for them either way.

[Carlo]

(...)We also would not allow our children to refer to our friends by first name, it was always Mister and Missus or Ma'am unless they are very close friends then they were allowed to be addressed as Aunt or Uncle. (...)

I'm sure there is a reason, but calling someone Aunt or Uncle who is neither sounds quite strange to me.
The rest of your statement seems sound though.

[ohiopiper]

I can't speak for the rest of the world, but American society has taken a tumble to the point that common courtesy is an uncommon thing. There are, of course, bright spots in the abyss of poor manners, but they are getting fewer and farther between.

[BCAC]

I can't speak for the rest of the world, but American society has taken a tumble to the point that common courtesy is an uncommon thing. There are, of course, bright spots in the abyss of poor manners, but they are getting fewer and farther between.

Believe me, ohiopiper, this is not any American thing, it's a worldwide disaster (and, I'm ashamed to say, probably the fault of my generation).

[Mikilt]

I too have had an experience of "We're not Ladies!"

Years ago I was tending bar and a regular customer came in with some friends. We chatted a while and I had to excuse myself to take care of other customers. I said, "If you ladies will please excuse me..." I was met with a stern, "We're not ladies, we're women! You are a man and we are women!"

I was speechless. I can see pejorative names like "chick", dame", "babe", "skirt" or "broad" being offensive. But "ladies"? I obviously didn't know my audience.

[Tobus]

I think that perhaps these "young ladies" (and the "young men" also) react badly to common courtesy and good manners because they are lost, not used to it and don't really know how they should react. They have never been taught.

That's giving them far too much benefit of the doubt. Believe it or not, most of these youngsters do understand common courtesy enough to recognise it. The negative reaction they have is an outright rejection of it. It is an intentional refusal to accept "old fashioned" values. For whatever reason, they believe that such courtesies are tied to sexism, racism, class warfare, religious oppression, and pretty much any other social ill they can think of. They are part of a new generation which has accepted a new way of thinking, and they are adamant that certain old ways of thinking (and acting) must be stamped out.

Fortunately, I don't have people around me in real life who are like that. Heck, most of the youngsters around here in my small town still call their elders "sir" and "ma'am". Small-town kids just can't get away with the type of effrontery that big-city kids can. We probably know their parents!

But the internet is rife with these people, and I've had discussions with them in the past as to why they reject old-fashioned culture. To them, it's evil. I find that very, very sad. The aren't exactly confused about life; they just have viewpoints and perspectives that I'll never understand.