the man's the gowd

[sailortats]

Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth was visiting a hospital in Glasgow and stated that she would like to talk with some of the patients.
She entered the room of an elderly lady and asked how the lady was feeling. The elderly lady replied "the man's the gowd for a that"
The queen thought that odd but smiled and left to visit another patient. She asked an elderly gentleman how he was feeling and got the reply "gude ale comes and good ale goes, gude ale gars me sell my hose"
Her majesty then turned to her escort and asked " is this the psychiatric ward?
No he said


wait for it


this is the Burns unit.

[mookien]

That's cute.

[EagleJCS]

Her majesty is then shown 'round the rest of the hospital. Upon visiting the last ward, she sees a number of patients who show no obvious signs of injury. She goes to speak with the first man she sees, and the man proclaims:

"Fair fa' yer honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain e' the puddin' race!
Aboon them a' ye tak your place,
painch tripe or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy o' a grace
as lang's my arm."


Her majesty, somewhat taken aback, goes to the next patient, and immediately the patient launches into:

"Some hae meat, and canna eat,
And some wad eat that want it,
But we hae meat and we can eat,
And sae the Lord be thankit."


This continues with the next patient:

"Wee sleekit cow'rin tim'rous beastie,
O what a panic's in thy breastie!
Thou need na start awa sae hasty,
wi' bickering brattle.
I wad be laith to run and chase thee,
wi' murdering prattle!"


"Well," the queen mutters to her Scottish escort, "I see you saved the psychiatric ward for the last."

"Nay, nay," her escort replied, "this is the Serious Burns unit."

[ForresterModern]

Ah, the pun, Twain's choice for the most painful form of humor.

[Calgacus]

A joke as old as the Bard himself, but a well executed version.

The Bard was not averse to a good pun himself, as an Epigram On Rough Roads testifies. One of my favourites.

I'm now arrived-thanks to the gods!-
Thro' pathways rough and muddy,
A certain sign that makin roads
Is no this people's study:
Altho' Im not wi' Scripture cram'd,
I'm sure the Bible says
That heedless sinners shall be damn'd,
Unless they mend their ways.