Tryin' Not to Fight

[J Ross]

"If yee canna tell the difference between a kilt and a skirt you are at risk for dating some extremely ugly women."

I love this one. Must steal it.

[Just Hugh]

I love this one. Must steal it.

Yes, or should I say, "aye?" I will be stealing many of the comebacks on this thread. Although, I'm not sure they're all in the spirit of "Tryin' not to fight."

But then, that's when a long stare and the sgian dubh's mere existance are enough.

[ForresterModern]

My response to those who make comments like that in attempt to demean another?

"Well, fellah, if ignorance is bliss you must be the happiest man on earth."

[Bill aka Mole]

The missus and I spent the last weekend in Savannah. Even though I wasn't kilted, I did encounter a local person who fancied himself as a comedian. He tried the "Why do Scots were kilts?" and I quickly hit him with Comfort! before he could finish the joke (sheep can hear zippers). It flustered him so badly that we were nearly a half-block away before he even got the punch-line out.

[Aussie_Don]

The missus and I spent the last weekend in Savannah. Even though I wasn't kilted, I did encounter a local person who fancied himself as a comedian. He tried the "Why do Scots were kilts?" and I quickly hit him with Comfort! before he could finish the joke (sheep can hear zippers). It flustered him so badly that we were nearly a half-block away before he even got the punch-line out.

We've all run into such self-styled "wits", mostly they're half right.

-Don

[HarveyH]

I have to say that there are a number of threads on this from time to time. Yes there are idiots who choose to be insulting but there are many more who simply don't know. In London, UK there are large numbers of tourists. I will often be complimented by people for whom English is not their first language on "my nice skirt". They are not insulting but quite genuine.

Why should I take umbridge, the definition of a kilt in both British and American English is a pleated skirt usually worn by a man (see Meriam-Webster for an example). There can be little doubt that a kilt is a type of skirt, if a very particular one.

So my response to "nice skirt" is " yes it is. thank you " and if I can see it is a tourist I might add that it's called a kilt.

I have found that responding as if a genuine compliment was intended always backfires on those who intend an insult but avoids descending to their level.

[auld argonian]

Very short guy wi' a shaved head? I'm surprised you didn't quote Fat Bastard from Austin Powers…

"J**zis, he's tiny! I've got bigger bits of corn…."…I'll leave the rest to your memory of the movie. Since you met Mini-Me, didja' get his autograph?

Best

AA

[Liam]

My usual response when someone says "nice skirt" is to reply: "Do you know why it is called a kilt?" and before they can respond, "It's because that's what happened to the last person who call it a skirt. He got 'kilt'" . This usually solicits a chuckle and takes the wind out of their sails.

[TheOfficialBren]

I am a details-oriented kind of guy (as you all know from my wordy posts...LOL).

I have found that overloading an insulter with very precise and detailed information often has the effect of them becoming bewildered, frustrated, and feeling rather dense.

I call this the "hacker's retaliation" since one for of computer hacking involves overwhelming an opponent's system with massive amounts of data to break down their defences.

I don't recommend it with the average street thug hut I do recommend it for the smug sort of know-it-all type who loves the sound of his own voice. Someone close to me is a talker with a big mouth. This tactic shuts him down instantly.

[Manxstralian]

Someone who doesn't know a kilt from a dress, doesn't know his way around either.

I actually used this line last night on a couple of young guys... They didn't take it well, but the girls they were with seemed to find it hilarious. Maybe I cut too close to the bone!

Cheers,

Cameron