Not sure where to go from here

[Shorty]

Greetings from Upstate New York!

I have always been enamored with kilts, and always thought they looked good, but I never thought I would have the chutzpah to wear one. I also was a bit skittish about wearing a kilt while having no discernible Scottish heritage, as I felt that I might be doing a disservice to a historical and storied manner of national dress (I know now that one does not need to be Scottish to wear a kilt). However, having recently retired from the US Army and having quite a bit of time on my hands, I decided to research and chart my family history. As it turns out, I am a mix of Scottish, English, Welsh, Irish, and German, and I can trace my genealogy back to being from a sept of the Farquharson Clan.

After reading a voluminous amount of information on this forum, I decided to 'take the plunge' and buy myself a kilt for my birthday. I ended up getting a modern utility kilt to give myself a chance to 'dip my toe in the water', as it were. Plus, I don't really have the money right now to get a custom-made kilt in the Farquharson tartan. When my kilt arrived, I was like a kid at Christmas, and I couldn't wait to wear it. I put it on, but wore it very casually, with thick socks, boots, a belt and a nice button-down short sleeve shirt, and it looked good and felt great! I never wanted to wear pants again! My wife loved it, thought I looked great in it, and of course wanted to know what was under it. My 14 year-old daughter, however, though I looked ridiculous, and started in with the skirt jokes and the 'girly-man' comments.

While being somewhat self-conscious about wearing it out in public, as I live in a very small, very conservative farming community, I decided nevertheless that I would wear it that evening while walking the dog with my wife. Sure, I got some strange looks, and I even had a few kids outright double over in laughter over it, but whatever; I've got pretty thick skin. Upon returning home, my daughter was livid. She said that she had gotten messages from her friends that they had seen me wearing a 'skirt' out in public, and that they were teasing her about having a father would wore 'women's' clothing. I tried to explain to her that a kilt is a masculine piece of attire, and I also explained the history of it, but she did not want to hear any of it. So, I decided that in order to protect her from an onslaught of teasing and bullying from her peers, that I would only wear my kilt(s) at home or to more 'kilt-friendly' venues (like the Scottish Games that I will be visiting next week). This was somewhat crushing for me, as I was looking forward to wearing a kilt out-and-about more often, but I didn't want my daughter to suffer at the hands of her peers for it.

Now, even though I only wear my kilt while at home or working in my yard, my daughter still berates me with mean comments, and begs me not to wear it. While I said earlier that I have pretty thick skin, her constant comments are wearing heavily on me, and quite frankly are making me want to hang my kilt up for good. I know that I could probably tell her to stop commenting on it or punish her for being unruly, but I don't think that is the right way to go. It's a shame, because I really enjoy the freedom of the kilt. Has anyone else had a problem like this? I'm not quite sure where to go from here. Apologies that this post is so long.

[Richrail]

from Reno, NV.

[ASinclair]

Hello Shorty!

[Jock Scot]

Welcome, from Inverness-shire. Family first laddie, family first. I know its a tricky one, but your daughter must come first in my book.

[Father Bill]

Welcome to the "Great Rabble!"

[Lodrorigdzin]

What an excellent opportunity to rankle your daughter! I wouldn't let it pass me by. A few years and she'll have moved away from your house. So excellent that her friends started messaging her. It's also an excellent instrument for some cool emotional blackmailing. "If you don't do better at school, I'll wear my kilt to parent - teacher conferences."

Seriously though: your daughter would do well to put up with your kilt wearing. I say that as the father of a 17 year old son, who has a Hare Krishna for a father. Yes I go out on harinama, in town, where his friends might see me. In dhoti and kurta and happily playing the tambourine.

[S Mitchell]

Welcome, Shorty!


Do you think if you were to wear a tartan kilt (synthetic ones can be found for not much money or you could shop ebay for used,) your daughter and her friends would have an easier time making the mental jump from skirt to kilt?

[McClef]

from South Wales UK!

Utility kilts are not to everyone's taste and your daughter's reaction might be different with a more traditionally designed tartan kilt.

[Kylahullu]

from Finland.
Might be a cultural thing but for me the last thing I would do in your situation would be to show my daughter that some bullies, who have not grown up after kinder-garden, can dictate what I (and she) should do and think.

What about having some traditional-looking tartan kilt with a sporran rather than utilikilt? It might be easier for her to recognize and accept as a male garment.

[sailortats]

Your daughter is old enough to learn the difference between a kilt and a skirt, and for that matter so are her friends.
That being said I agree that a tartan kilt might make things a lot easier for them to understand. If you check USAKilts (see ad at top of the page) you could buy a perfectly acceptable PV Farquharson tartan kilt for $99.99. Also I would buy a sporran to wear with it to offset some of the "skirt" look. The rest of the accessories can come later.