Informal Wedding Attire Advice Needed.

[Sir Robert]

Dear Brothers....

I have a problem, I have two daughters getting married this spring. Both insist on an informal wedding. No tuxedos, no Dress Blues, no Prince Charlies. But my kilts are welcome.

So what is the maximum niceness that I can dress without becoming formal?

I have three kilts (actually 12+) that may be nice enough, a Black Watch, a Dress Gordon and a Shadow Tartan. All three are wool heavyweight. I am associated with and blood kin to the Gordons and I served in Iraq alongside the Black Watch.

I greatly value you input and advice.

Sir Robert

[Father Bill]

The definition of "informal" like so many terms is a matter of opinion, so you'd have to run this by your daughters. What comes to mind for me is kilt, self-coloured hose, hand-knotted garters, sghian, Oxford shoes or brogues, and an Oxford cloth pale blue shirt with a simple straight tie (half-windsor knot) all with a day sporran & strap.

[Chaps]

I concur with Father Bill, but you might add a Tweed Argyle jacket and still be informal enough. Just be glad that your daughters agreed to the kilt. My daughter told me no kilt for the wedding; though I may change into the kilt during the reception.

[Father Bill]

Isn't it delightful when the clergy get along like this?

[Sir Robert]

So that we are on the same sheet of music please answer using Panache's 1 to 10 scale of formality:

1 Very casual
2 festival
3 Sporty
4 Day Wear
5 Smart
6 Dressy
7 Semi-Formal
8 Tux Equivalent
9 Black Tie
10 White Tie

As defined by Panache.

[ratspike]

Weddings are, generally speaking, pretty informal in the Northwest. In 12 years photographing weddings down in Portland I've found even supposedly formal weddings often aren't. After all, this is the town where you'll see jeans at opening night at the opera. I wouldn't expect things are too much different up your way.

I always dress the same for every gig, regardless of the level of formality of the wedding: a solid black kilt in wool or poly/cotton, or a Graham semi trad from USA kilts if I want to wear tartan. Always a colored shirt, cool jewel tones, burgundy, gray, saffron, anything but white. Funky tie, fitted vest, TARDIS lapel pin. Solid color socks scrunched down with 8 eye Doc Martens in black or oxblood. Never felt under or over dressed, and have been the best dressed guy in the room more than once.

[ratspike]

So that we are on the same sheet of music please answer using Panache's 1 to 10 scale of formality:

1 Very casual
2 festival
3 Sporty
4 Day Wear
5 Smart
6 Dressy
7 Semi-Formal
8 Tux Equivalent
9 Black Tie
10 White Tie

In my experience it would be 1-3 and a combination of looks 4 and 5. The wedding venue and whether it's indoor or outdoor, and the overall style and the B&G's taste might also determine the line between informal and too formal. Have your daughters given you suggestions? That might be a good place to start if you're unsure.

[Sir Robert]

Yes the suggestion was A. informal, B. no tux, C. kilt okay. Plus a wedding is the bride's day to be a princess, one does not outshine the bride, nor do you treat her day as not important.

[ratspike]

Based on that I'd say you're good to go with a fabulous shirt/tie combo. Add a vest or jacket if you're so inclined. I've found that to many people "informal" really just means "for the love of dog, please don't wear a penguin suit!".

And gents, seriously, you will never outshine the bride. Ever. I promise. Put on your fancy duds and go be awesome with no worries.

[Sir Robert]

The last time I wore a rental Tuxedo, it was horrible. It was not formal wear, it was a Halloween costume quality suit.

Anyway I am thinking, kilt with a either poet's shirt or tie & jacket.