June travels to Scotland

[Jock Scot]

Well if you have a couple of hours I could give you an example! To give you a clue, the conversation starts something like this:-

"Is that a MacOnion tartan that I see you wearing?" At this, if one happens to be in a crowded bar,it has the same effect of a shark swimming towards a shoal of herring and suddenly you are alone with the sha.. er um, lecturer

Before you get a chance to reply that its not, or escape the lecture starts! Something along these lines:-

" My great aunts second cousin was married to the Duke of Gumby's brother who moved to Maryland in 1896 and as you know"-----I do?-------" which entitles me to wear the MacCarrot tartan. But as you well know"-------Oh, of course I do?----------"the Gumby line goes back to MacWhatsits who these days wear the MacOther tartan, but in 1267 they wore the Laird of twopence tartan when the thirty third cousin of the then Earl of How-come married the third, no sorry fifth cousin of Sir Harry Worth."----- and so it goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on until just when you think the lecture is running out of steam out come the pictures! And on it goes--------------------------------two hours later a breath is drawn.

The upshot of all this apparently, the lecturer can legitimately wear thirty three tartans and possibly another fifteen if we were to consider the illegitimate lines which as yet we have not covered ----yet!------------------and then there are the District Tartans-------------

I KID YOU NOT! I am afraid the end result is a thought of, so what and.......? That of course would never be said out loud.

I know visitors mean well and these are important issues to them, but they forget that the Scots have all that and more, much more, if they can be bothered and some are, but it is a conversation that is an occasional family matter no one else's. Why? WE ALL have a similar story and daily life has to continue! That is one of the main reasons why we wear ONE tartan! We don't justify it to anyone, no one asks, we just do it.