As mentioned by others I think you should check with your hosts.
With regard to a waistcoat, some that are designed to be worn with trousers are too long to be worn with a kilt and just don't look right. You might look smarter in shirtsleeves with a tie and belt.
I would always want to encourage people to wear kilts but it must be appropiate to the occasion. At a wedding I think you really must conform to the level of dress requested in the invitation.
The 'Eathen in his idleness bows down to wood and stone,
'E don't obey no orders unless they is his own,
He keeps his side arms awful,
And he leaves them all about,
Until up comes the Regiment and kicks the 'Eathen out.
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