The official way

[Benning Boy]

These have been some interesting responses. As I said this shocking, and I do mean shocking incident happened at a rowdy event. The music was loud and drinks were plenty. I was caught off guard and the whole offensive event was over before I could slap her cool smooth hand away. It never would have happened if I had stayed home living my usual quite life. I gave in to temptation and thought maybe a night out would be good for my soul, and it ended learning a disconcerting lesson. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

When the willowy miss first asked if I knew the official way to inspect a kilt one of my replies was to use a patent leather shoe as a mirror. That stopped her for a bit as she gave it some thought.

I didn't give thought to what my wife might think as she moved out some time back pending divorce. I doubt a young single woman's attentions would have made her anymore irritated with me than she already is. The last time a younger single woman showed as much interest in my kilt the old gal stood nearby giving me the eye.

I probably shouldn't wear kilts. It causes ladies to too often be unlady like.

[Jock Scot]

This is the most telling post in this entire thread.

"None of that makes any sort of inappropriate sexual behavior okay,"

Quite right.

However as events evolve in life, I think many of us as adults have met situations such as described by the OP, kilted or otherwise. What both consenting parties choose to do is entirely their choice and in the cold light of day there may be regrets or smiles, but discretion must rule the day and in my book neither party “kisses and tells”. I was taught that by my parents and my peers and they have been proved oh so right. .......and life goes on.

[Jock Scot]

Thank you, Katia, for a most insightful take on this from a female point of view and I hope that many here will have taken this on board and appreciate the consequences of this type of behaviour.
Others seem to take the view that this is all OK provided it is consensual but what happens in an alcohol-fuelled public environment cannot be compared with what a couple may agree to in private.

Alcohol or drugs are no excuse for poor judgement and bad behaviour. They may be reasons for bad behaviour for sure, but excuses, no.

[Katia]

I don't subscribe to the idea that a person is completely unable to make a good decision while inebriated (though, this is coming from me, who tends to be the one who's like "no don't drunk-text your boss or your mom, don't get in that fight, are you going to be okay going to the bathroom by yourself, Sheila is talking to some random guy and I'm going to keep an eye on her, and if we're leaving let me make sure we have everyone and they're okay" even if I myself am listing dangerously to one side or the other {or both...}). But it's probably best to err on the side of caution, especially if the other person is unfamiliar to you and you are not well-acquainted with their style of inebriation. And it's up to each person to know themself and what is or is not prudent when drinking (sometimes you know beforehand what's a bad situation to get yourself into when in that state, whether it's a game of poker, chatting up the opposite sex, talking politics, dancing, doing shots, etc.).

That said, "consent" is the telling word here, but in some situations just the asking could be inappropriate, even if the asker is perfectly willing to drop the subject with no issues once rebuffed (again, this could go back to the difference between the way it may feel depending on the sex/gender of the parties involved). In other situations, no matter how consenting, such activities should indeed be conducted in private in case no one surrounding would want to bear witness to such a thing. In yet other situations, if everyone involved thinks it's a great idea, go for it. The OP's situation sounds like a case of this last, but of course that's not always the case.

[neloon]

Katia,
To an old man like me, mores and what is deemed "inappropriate" seem to have changed so much over the years. In my young day, ladies were supposed to be cherished and certainly not embarrassed or disrespected. Maybe some of the changes in the "status" of the fair sex - though much needed - have brought some unhappy consequences.

Alan

[Father Bill]

Aye. I can relate to that. I find myself feeling much, much older and sadder too.

[ThistleDown]

Katia,
To an old man like me, mores and what is deemed "inappropriate" seem to have changed so much over the years. In my young day, ladies were supposed to be cherished and certainly not embarrassed or disrespected. Maybe some of the changes in the "status" of the fair sex - though much needed - have brought some unhappy consequences.

Alan

It never ceases to amaze me that in my younger years I was the recipient of nothing more than admiring glances, in my middle years (as I recall) I was often 'accosted', and in my later years I am back to admiring glances. Looking back, I do wonder if the middle years were just figments of my imagination, or if they really occurred.

[neloon]

Oh dear! We now seem to have reached the stage of wistful nostalgia.

Or rose-tinted specs.
But, seriously, no self-respecting lady would have behaved as described by the OP 60 years ago. Neither did they get drunk in public whereas nowadays on a Friday or Saturday night, they are to be seen wearing 2 inch long skirts and tottering about on high heels until they fall in the gutter. Their social behaviour has deteriorated towards that of men to the general detriment of both.

Alan

[Tarheel]

And should women who choose to exploit these new found freedoms then deny the corollary of this, namely unwelcome attention from men

I have a daughter-in-law that is in her mid thirties and as independent minded as any girl/woman I have ever met. She, her mother and I discuss this issue each week on all subjects imagined. They see the danger and trap of new found liberties and freedoms that women face today as opposed to (my youth) the 1950's and 60's. Their opinion is that all manner of mistakes will be made (by a large majority of women) by those that have not or did not learn self restraint. A balance will ensue.

I think it will take a generation before both sexes will adjust to the strengths and weakness (also, what is permissible and taboo) of public behavior. Then all the rules will change again (as it did between the 1980's and today). The best we can hope for is to "live and learn".

Thanks for your input, questions and opinions. A lively exchange is a worthy cause when positive results are achieved.

[Pleater]

Should I ever need to find out, I would ask.

Otherwise I would assume that the man was wearing his kilt in the manner he found most convenient and leave it at that.

Anne the Pleater