Tartans Worn As Tribute

**RedbeardCass** · 30th September 20, 01:20 PM

G'd afternoon all!

Another question from a newbie forum member here, unsure if it's been covered before but just asking for some opinions.

A little backstory first. My mother had a best friend, essentially a sister with whom my entire family was very close with. She was born a MacKintosh, a family with no direct link to my own. In addition to my ma's best friend for 20 years, this woman functioned as a surrogate mom for my siblings and I on several crucial occasions (for example, my younger brother required an emergency trip to the hospital and an appendectomy. My mother called Kim [which was this fine woman's name] at 3:00AM, to which Kim responded "I just unlocked the front door, get Cass here as quick as you can so you can get Nick to the hospital." Didn't think about it or hesitate, but her friends needed help and come hell or high water, she was going to help us.)

Unfortunately, Kim slipped the bonds of earth due to a very rare and aggressive form of brain cancer about 8 years ago to which she herself had lost a child.

I'm currently searching for my next tartan to purchase a kilt in and was thinking a Mackintosh. I guess that my whole question is: if you were a member of a clan and saw someone wearing your tartan, would someone explaining that they were doing it out of respect and to honor an individual that carried that name, would you be likely to take offense or think it at all out of turn for someone to wear your tartan?

TIA as usual!

**Father Bill** · 30th September 20, 01:32 PM

Good question!

You may get conflicting answers, but generally they'll trend to "Wear what you like, but know something about the tartan, and be ready to give a very short explanation of why you're wearing it." Something like, "It's the tartan of my mother's dear friend" will do just fine for most people. No long folderol, please, unless somebody asks for clarification, and then still don't over-do it.

**RedbeardCass** · 30th September 20, 01:40 PM

Originally Posted by Father Bill

Good question!

You may get conflicting answers, but generally they'll trend to "Wear what you like, but know something about the tartan, and be ready to give a very short explanation of why you're wearing it." Something like, "It's the tartan of my mother's dear friend" will do just fine for most people. No long folderol, please, unless somebody asks for clarification, and then still don't over-do it.

Duly noted.

I was figuring as much, and wouldn't necessarily launch into a diatribe regarding too many specifics unless prodded for further. Basically reserving it for if anyone were to ask "What makes her connection to you so strong that..." question.

I do know that some people can be pickier than others when it comes to wearing tartans associated with this family or that, and that it really does depend on who is inquiring.

Plus, I know that I may never even have to explain it, I just like being prepared for if it comes up.

Thanks as usual for your insight, Rev. Fr.

**Ninehostages** · 30th September 20, 02:07 PM

I think that's a touching and appropriate tribute and go for it. You honour the tartan.

**Macman** · 30th September 20, 02:43 PM

As a McIntosh, I would not take offense at all, nor think it out of turn. I'd be touched by your reason, actually.

**McMurdo** · 30th September 20, 03:02 PM

I think your story would be good enough for anyone. It sounds like a lovely tribute.

**CameronCat** · 1st October 20, 01:46 PM

I agree completely! Follow the three rules and never look back:

1- Know something about the tartan you wear; its name, etc.
2- You do NOT have to justify wearing it, but a brief explanation can be helpful. ("I like it" is a good reason, too!)
3- Wear it like you mean it!

Trust yourself and follow your heart.

**Crazy Dave** · 3rd October 20, 08:13 AM

I am definitely not an expert on Kilt etiquette, but if you were wearing my family kilt and gave me that explanation, I would feel honored that you loved a family member that much.

**Jock Scot** · 3rd October 20, 10:55 AM

As you are asking. If that is what you feel you need to do, then carry on. Personally it would not be what I would do, or, expect anyone else to do. Wearing someone else's tartan in such circumstances strikes me as being overly sentimental, rather insincere and unnecessary. Sorry.

**plaid preacher** · 4th October 20, 12:07 PM

I learned a long time ago this simple adage - if you have to ask, you probably already know the answer. The tartan is a symbol of your belonging. Therefore, for the rest of your life, every time you wear your kilt you will have to be prepared to tell this story anytime you encounter a MacKintosh. While it is a touching story and certainly you have genuine affection for this remarkable woman, having to constantly "justify" why you are wearing another clan's tartan will become wearisome. In this matter I am of a like mind to Jock. I wouldn't.