Shooting ourselves in the foot!

[James]

I well understand the urge to make a cutting riposte when we overhear or receive what to us is a rude comment about the kilt we are wearing.

However is it possible that what we see as rudeness is really just ignorance-or maybe amazement at seeing a man going about his day to day activities kilted.

So our riposte rather than furthering the acceptance of kilt wearing, purely alienates a person as a consequence of their innocent though to our ears stupid-rude remark?

Here we must accept that whilst many will have seen the kilts being worn on TV and in the media-the actual sight can come as quite a surprise-possibly the reason for someone thinking and saying skirt rather than kilt-or making some other, to us silly/rude remark.

Here I'm ignoring the very rare and they are very rare, intended offensive remark-less than the fingers on one hand in over sixty years of wearing the kilt: for they are best ignored.

However there have been many occasions when what I could have taken as an offensive remark-when instead I smiled and made a friendly comment-resulted in a positive chat. Even on a later encounter a smiled 'I'll get it right this time, your kilt'.

So what I suggest is that a more positive and less aggressive response can in the longer run do more to enhance/popularise kilt wearing-than to respond with all guns.

By the same token we as the kilt wearing community do go out of our way to attract comments-with our 'coy' references to wearing the kilt correctly and the like. So no wonder people will be curious: for all too often we set up the situation for that curiosity in the first place. However again by taking a soft approach-what could have been a negative exchange has been turned into a positive one.

Certainly each and every one of us must decide how to react-so I'm not trying to be prescriptive, rather commenting upon an approach which has worked for me. Too I must accept that my reactions at the age of sixtynine and after wearing the kilt since childhood-will be very different to a chap who only adopted it recently and feels the need to prove their actions.

James

[Doc Hudson]

Different cultures require different responses.

[M. A. C. Newsome]

I agree James, it's always best to react in a kind and friendly manner and give those commenting the benefit of the doubt.

When I wear my kilt in public (in a non-Scottish context) I invariably get comments, but almost all positive. Very very rarely have I encountered someone who had a negative reaction to seeing a man in a kilt (I'm sure it must have happened at least once, but I can't think of a single example right now). In fact, this is one reason I don't wear my kilt when I'm not "on the job" at the museum, or somewhere representing the museum. Because I know if I do that I'm going to stopped a dozen times and asked questions, and I don't always want to spend my days off talking about kilts!

Now, that's not to say I don't get stupid comments. For example, I think the question about what I'm wearing under my kilt is horribly rude and offensive. But I have to remind myself that those people who ask are not being intentionally rude. They think they are being funny, and even friendly. They see a man in a kilt, they think that's a neat-o thing, and want to come up and talk with me. How do they break the ice? Well, everyone knows the mystery, right? So that's what they ask.

So a snappy reply, said with a smile, will probably make the person's day and begin a conversation about other things. A rude come back will just leave a bad impresion all around.

Now, may a venture to say that there are some here for whom one of the reasons they like to wear the kilt in public is for "shock value"? In other words, they get some satisfaction from the looks and comments, and delight in being seen as "different"? I think in that case you have a different situation than if you are simply wearing the kilt for cultural or heritage reasons.

What do you do with something like the Utilikilt? People used to seeing kilts on tv and in parades may know what a kilt is and recognize a Scottish tartan kilt when they see one. But when they see a man walking down the street in a camoflague pleated skirt with buttons and cargo pockets, and don't make the connection that it's supposed to be a "kilt," can we blame them? Again, if someone questions you about it, be nice, take the time to explain, and don't assume they are purposefully being rude or ignorant.

All that said, if anyone is unlucky enough to encounter such troglodytes as Graham recently described (who yelled "Show us your balls!") then by all means put them in their place with a witty come back if you are quick enough -- otherwise ignore them for they are not worth any more of your attention.

Aye,
Matt

[GMan]

Smiling and nodding helps, but the one that really makes them think is also non-verbal, just give them the peace sign. I find these great for those type of comments, usually stops them. Then if they continue then maybe, and I do want to say maybe, think of some witty remark, as some people never learn.

I try to keep the higher road.

[macwilkin]

How ironic that I just added a new quote on my signature line that ties in so nicely to this thread! :mrgreen:

When I was in NPS uniform, I would always get a lot of interesting comments, mostly dealing with bears, Yogi & Smokey in particular. As Matt said, most folks who make these kinds comments that we've heard ad naseum are trying to be funny & start a conversation, and not necessarily be mean. Whilst I certainly got tired of hearing them, the very fact I was representing the Park Service stopped me from making a smart (and rude) remark and maintain a professional appearance -- I was being diplomatic.

In a similar vein, whenever I wore period uniforms in reenactments & living history events (Civil War, Spanish-American, etc.), I would also get the same questions & comments over & over again from tourists and spectators, such as "aren't you hot in those clothes?" and "don't shoot me!" Again, instead of trying to do a "chop-buster", I used those comments as a lead-in to an interpretive talk about uniforms or how to load & fire a Civil War era musket.
I've found that a similar strategy whilst wearing a kilt also works & disarms some of the more vocal mockers.

As I've said before, when we wear our kilts, we are diplomats, not only for ourselves, but for our clan/family, military branch, state, province -- you get the picture. By being civil & diplomatic with "less educated" folks who may want to learn about the kilt & tartan, but can only begin the conversation by making a joke, we will show ourselves as gentlemen.

Cheers,

Todd

[macgreggor]

as always when dealing with the curious, the unenlightened, the ignorant and those looking for an education, " a soft answer turneth away wrath".
my wife keeps reminding me and i keep forgetting!
macG

[motorman4life]

I would have to agree that the high road is best in dealing with people.

I have only been wearing a kilt a short time in comparison and I have had many, many more affirmative contacts than I could have ever imagined. It has been very encouraging and while I often find myself bracing for some sort of gratuitous onslaught of insults, I am repeatedly disarmed by the compliments and upbeat reactions I receive.

I would have to say to anyone that is concerned about ridicule or being mocked, it is really the rarest of all responses you will encounter in a kilt. And, while you can go barely noticed in pants or shorts, you will find you get a lot of positive feedback while kilted. To sum it up, chicks just love kilts!

[Celticman]

Hello all,

This is a pretty interesting topic...I thought I would throw my 2¢ in on the subject.

I live in South Louisiana, which isn't exactly a hot-bed of celtic culture and it gets rather tiresome having to answer the "do you wear a skirt, too, like those people in that...what's the name of that movie?" questions when I tell someone I'm Scottish! So, I tell them that "Yes, I wear a KILT just like the people in Rob Roy", knowing full well what movie they're refering to, but it throws them off a bit.

I have been a victim of the "what will others think of me" bug and it bothers me a bit. It is a shame that I feel this way, but it is hardly the fault of others. When I see someone wearing African or Arab garb I don't make fun of them and I wonder how they go about their lives wearing the clothing they wear. I also don't really notice other people making fun of them either. Then I observe them a bit and what I notice most about them is their purpose. They see nothing wrong with their clothing and so they don't care what others think.

I guess what is really at the heart of the "problem" is how I perceive myself, not how others see me. In the end I don't want to care what others think of me I just want to feel good about who I am. That is a much harder task to accomplish. How I feel about me is reflected in the confidence in myself I project to others.

I keep telling my friends that I'm going to go to Walmart wearing my kilt on a Saturday at noon. I may just do that some day soon!

[macwilkin]

I live in South Louisiana, which isn't exactly a hot-bed of celtic culture...

Check out these folks just down the road:

www.celts1.com (Celtic Society of La.)

http://www.angelfire.com/la2/sasbr/ (St. Andrew's Society of Baton Rouge)

http://www.csbr.org/ (Caledonian Society of Baton Rouge)

And one just for fun: http://home.netcom.com/~rsbo/cajun.htm

I know several of them -- great bunch of people! And all three groups were instrumental in getting official recognition of the Louisiana State Tartan.

My wife's people are Melancons.

Cheers,

Todd (Cajun by the ring & back-door!)

[Dreadbelly]

I have been a victim of the "what will others think of me" bug and it bothers me a bit. It is a shame that I feel this way, but it is hardly the fault of others. When I see someone wearing African or Arab garb I don't make fun of them and I wonder how they go about their lives wearing the clothing they wear. I also don't really notice other people making fun of them either. Then I observe them a bit and what I notice most about them is their purpose. They see nothing wrong with their clothing and so they don't care what others think.

Whoa there buddy, hold up. Trust me, those poor folk get made fun of. The South is not a nice place.

I see folk wearing garmets from their homelands all the time and they ALWAYS getting hassled by some dumb redneck. About a week or so ago, a group of folk (Two women from India and a man of Middle Eastern origins) were getting harassed and hassled by some of the local goons. Ignorant dipsticks kept calling the guy stuff like "towelhead" and worse, horrible obcene names involving fornication with camels... Words were bad enough, and got my attention. (As well as making my blood boil) But then it turned into a shoving match of two on one and sexually demeaning the womenfolk.

I had to beat two guys down into the sidewalk and educate them on proper respect for your fellow human being for their behaviour. Some folk, that's the only way they learn. :x

And on subject, these folks will forever have a good image of the kilt wearing gentleman.

People are going to talk about us. We stand out. We might as well give them something good to talk about.

And Celticman, wear your kilt where ever you please. It is your right. Just stand up straight, stick your chest out, broaden your shoulders, adjust your buckle, mind your hose (Entendre intended) and go out into the world.

Dare to be different.