My sporran is a black Rob Roy sporran from Buzz. It looks purple because it's a bad camera.

My doggie is part cocker spaniel, part beagle, part black lab. She's 20 pounds of wiggle!

I am even larger in person. Those pictures just don't do me justice.

Axes are nice, but get stuck in people's bones. I have much love for blunt objects. Hammers, canes, maces, cast iron pans, table legs, lamp posts, whatever comes handy.

Imagine you are a meth head. Imagine seeing that face looming over you.