Help wanted

[toadinakilt]

The Stillwater will be quite a step up from the SportKilt. Perhaps when she sees you in it with a nice shirt, belt and sporran she will warm to the idea.

I wear a sporran with the sportkilt...I know she thinks sporrans are a bit weird in of themselves...but yeah, a Stillwater looks a lot better when dressed up...and I just remembered...she was the one who suggested Black Stewart. Hmmm. Maybe this isn't going to be so hard as I thought...

[GatorUK]

There ya go!

[GMan]

Anytime something that is different is introduced, it does take time for everyone to adjust too. I would go slow at first real slow to let her get the idea that kilts are really cool. If you run into another female while the two of you together and she is adoring you because of the kilt, be sure that you give your girlfriend your complete and undivided attention.

I personally believe that you have an advantage especially with her thinking about the Black Stewart. Just go slow, and whatever happens, remember you have many friends here on the board!

[arycogre]

I have to agree with the idea of going slow, just don't let it sneak up on her though. Like others have said, get her to go along to some highland games, give her some exposure (for lack of a better term) to mass kiltage and it may do quite a bit towards relaxing some of those fears she has.

My own self-conscious fears were laid to rest by the combination of living in a city where kilt-wearing is not entirely uncommon and having a wife who wants me to wear kilts.

[Kirkwood]

My wife and I have been together for 8 years, 4 of them married. I've only recently started wearing kilts within the last few months.

She thinks that kilts are a little weird but accepts the fact I'm going to wear them regardless. She knows that I'm proud of my heritage and that kilts are but part of the way I show my pride. She also knows that I have no desire to put on any of her dresses.

I'm not a full time kilt wearer and I don't know if i ever will be (sometimes pants are more practical). But I do know that when I want to wear a kilt, I will and my wife won't give me a hard time about it.

That's what it's about for me. I have a choice.

If I had to choose between my wife and wearing a kilt, the wife wins. On the flip-side of the coin, I don't think she would ever leave me because of wearing a kilt.

Mutual respect, my man, is what relationships should be built on.


Best wishes,
Ron

[Jerry]

I love wearing kilts, and do so every day. But seriously, if you have to choose between the girl and the kilt, take the girl, dude.

Andrew.

I'm not so sure about that. After all, a kilt will never cost you child support or alimony.

[MACKAY]

First time she gets a look at some cutie giving you the eyeball when wearing your kilts will change her mind in a hurry. There are a few members on this board who will tell you the same.

My wife was ambivalent at best, even though she married me with full knowledge of my heritage and occasional kilt wearing. But it wasn't until we went to a non-Celtic event while I was kilted and she was witness to the "Oh my god, you look so good in a kilt" from some young hottie that the lights went on!

Now I have her nudging me to wear them when we go out on the weekends. I even caught her browsing the Stillwater site just the oter day mentioning my birthday and Christmas :-)

Give it time and hang in there ....

Brian

[Shay]

From a woman's persepctive, there's a couple problems that might be cropping up in her mind that you would want to reassure her one:

Is my man a cross dresser?
Will he be flashing people?
Will he look like a total dork and I'll be embarrassed?
Will his legs be better than mine?

Options one and two, you can easily reassure her on- show her the forum, pictures of men in kilts, wear underwear, (I understand the whole 'going regimental' thing, but if you wouldn't want your girlfriend going sans panties in a skirt to the grocery store, she's probably not into it for you, either- it's a comfort level here, not a control level) ask her to nudge you if she sees the kilt creeping up (even thought it hardly ever, ever happens) etc.

Option three is something she's either going to get over, or won't. Not everyone likes kilts, just like not everyone likes sneakers or tank tops on their mate. If it's important to you, though, I say wear it anyway- once you've reassured her (or not, let's face it, cross-dressers can wear kilts when not in drag) then why do you need her approval?

I really wouldn't recommend saying something like, "It's sexist that you wear pants and skirts and I can't wear a kilt," because like it or not, that's a little like a white guy complaining to a black guy that he's tired of the stereotype that white men can't jump*. It doesn't really help your case with many people.

Option four- that's all you, buddy.

Good luck, if she wants, she can e-mail me, my husband's worn kilts off and on since we've been married and I might be able to answer questions she doesn't want to ask you or whatever. I won't be back for a week but I'd be happy to talk to her then- my e-mail is shaysNOSPAMdays@gmail.com, take out the NOSPAM.

*I'm not trying to start a fight here, just trying to give you a little perspective about how women often think when men bring up that things are sexist against what a male wants, mmkay?


EDIT: BTW- a lot of this could have been avoided by just wearing the kilt and not asking her what she thought until after it was a more normal thing- now all the focus in on the kilt when you do wear it as a source of tension rather than something you wear to be comfortable.

[Ranald]

Anytime something that is different is introduced, it does take time for everyone to adjust too. I would go slow at first real slow to let her get the idea that kilts are really cool. If you run into another female while the two of you together and she is adoring you because of the kilt, be sure that you give your girlfriend your complete and undivided attention.

I personally believe that you have an advantage especially with her thinking about the Black Stewart. Just go slow, and whatever happens, remember you have many friends here on the board!

Dude,respect to you for saying you would out the kilts before her.
I am in complete agreement with Gman, take it slow and I assure you it will grow on her just like it has on you.Involve her in your choices of kilt and accesories if she's interested.
kilt are not everything, not everyone here wears them all the time maybe the one day a week would be enough to sway her.
I'm also assuming here that she wouldn't dump you for wearing said kilt?
Take it easy.

[toadinakilt]

I'm also assuming here that she wouldn't dump you for wearing said kilt?

Nope. She wouldn't. I just want to avoid stupid issues, so that if something BIG comes up there won't be small stuff to add to the friction.
And man, you know, there can be a lot of stupid small stuff.