KCW,
That is hitting below the belt on the part of your wife. The best advice I ever got to deflect nasty attacks from those who we think are supporting us was in a book called 'The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense'.

As my TKD instructor keeps telling me, 'be the wind, if you don't fight, it is hard for someone else to fight with you'.

Now if I could just remember that advice when the ceiling falls in! Best of luck.

macG