Now that I've gone through and read all the other posts, I want to say that I agree that it can be a noble thing, and often the right thing, to sacrifice one's personal desires for the sake of someone else's priorities -- especially a spouse.

Yet... I find sadness in the O. Henry story, "The Gift of the Magi" (hopefully everyone's familiar with it). I know it's supposed to be heartwarming, but my feeling is that the couple could have been just as happy with no special presents, just knowing -- because they know, not because any action was required to prove it -- that they love each other enough to sacrifice anything for their beloved. And then they'd still have those special possessions -- her long hair, his gold watch -- that gave them such pleasure, instead of the useless watch chain and hair ornament. In my view, it was just foolish of each of them to give up their greatest treasures as they did, however generous the impulse.

I hope I never read on XMarks, some cold day in January, that one of our kilt-wearing guys sold all his kilts to buy his beloved a week's course at an inner enlightenment seminar (for both of them, of course), whilst she went out and hocked all her self-help books to get him a Prince Charlie coatee and all the trimmings so they could attend the Burn's Nicht Supper in style! (However, if it should happen, don't forget I can rent you a kilt! ;))

I prefer to celebrate who we are, and encourage my husband to do and be whatever makes him happy, rather than to give up some part of myself, or something that makes me happy, to satisfy some perceived expectation or demand of his and thus "prove" my love for him. I want him to think the same way. I don't think it's selfish.

The economic issue is a serious thing, though, and if a man is endangering his family's security by wearing a kilt to work, then he shouldn't do it. There are plenty of other occasions where the kilt can be worn, though, and he ought to be able to do so, with no sense of guilt about it. His wife should support his kilt-wearing simply because it gives him pleasure and causes no harm to anyone.