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Thread: Broadswords?

  1. #1
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    Broadswords?

    So this question from a long-time wearer of the kilt, with little 'formal' training in highland dress. Is there an event, ball, dinner or otherwise where the wearing of the basket-hilt broadsword is appropriate or even expected?

    J.C. Thompson mentions in his very fine little book on wearing the kilt that 'back in the day' to win the best dressed highlander award, one had to hang all sorts of weaponry off of one's person. Other than reenactors, I'm just wondering if there is still a place for the claidbeamb-mor at Scottish functions.

  2. #2
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    Not unless you're expecting to duel. Thompson had it exactly right.

    I DO sometimes think about wearing my Claymore, but I resist.
    Virtus Ad Aethera Tendit

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    The only time the broadsword or claymore should be worn is when attending a highland games. If you choose to go be-sworded, then the rest of your costume should consist of:
    Birkenstocks or other modern sandals
    Blue jeans with rabbit fur leggings held to your ankles/calves with rubber bands. You can stick knives in the rubber bands. Remember, each piece of cutlery adds to your coolness!
    A piece of plaid (NOT tartan) cloth wrapped around your middle and held on with a belt. Extra points if you have a "Star Wars" buckle.
    A T-shirt OR no shirt at all
    Your sword. It should be either a) hanging from a shoelace attached to your belt or b) strapped across your back with leather thongs.
    Blue face paint.
    A helmet with horns on it.

    You'll be the coolest guy there! Make sure to join in the clan procession. Don't know your clan? Then just pick one. Any clan would be proud to count you among its warriors!

    When you talk, try to sound as much like James Doohan on the original "Star Trek" as possible. Tell everyone about how much you hate the English. Join in singing "Flower of Scotland" even though you don't know the words, except "Proud Edward's army ..."

    Go to each of the clan tents and tell them about how you think you might be from their clan. See if they'll give you free stuff.

    Find a piper who is warming up before competition. Ask him/her all about his or her clan. If they don't seem to know or care about their clan, tell them about yours. Don't let them ignore you! After all, if they play the pipes, they MUST be Scottish, right? And they must find your genealogy fascinating as well.

    Follow all this advice, and you'll be the most popular fellow at the games. Really.

  4. #4
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    Heaven save my monitor from beverage spew!

    You should not be allowed to post this at this time of night!, or maybe I should go to bed already!

    Great post, thanks for a laugh before retiring!

    Quote Originally Posted by haukehaien
    The only time the broadsword or claymore should be worn is when attending a highland games. If you choose to go be-sworded, then the rest of your costume should consist of:
    Birkenstocks or other modern sandals
    Blue jeans with rabbit fur leggings held to your ankles/calves with rubber bands. You can stick knives in the rubber bands. Remember, each piece of cutlery adds to your coolness!
    A piece of plaid (NOT tartan) cloth wrapped around your middle and held on with a belt. Extra points if you have a "Star Wars" buckle.
    A T-shirt OR no shirt at all
    Your sword. It should be either a) hanging from a shoelace attached to your belt or b) strapped across your back with leather thongs.
    Blue face paint.
    A helmet with horns on it.

    You'll be the coolest guy there! Make sure to join in the clan procession. Don't know your clan? Then just pick one. Any clan would be proud to count you among its warriors!

    When you talk, try to sound as much like James Doohan on the original "Star Trek" as possible. Tell everyone about how much you hate the English. Join in singing "Flower of Scotland" even though you don't know the words, except "Proud Edward's army ..."

    Go to each of the clan tents and tell them about how you think you might be from their clan. See if they'll give you free stuff.

    Find a piper who is warming up before competition. Ask him/her all about his or her clan. If they don't seem to know or care about their clan, tell them about yours. Don't let them ignore you! After all, if they play the pipes, they MUST be Scottish, right? And they must find your genealogy fascinating as well.

    Follow all this advice, and you'll be the most popular fellow at the games. Really.
    The kilt concealed a blaster strapped to his thigh. Lazarus Long

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    Only time I've gone with more armament than a sgain dubh and dirk is at reenactments. I have heard from pipers who've been requested to wear a sword, usually for wedding gigs. Piping a wedding is the only time other than a reenactment that I even wear a dirk. Not that they're particularly rowdy events, but sometimes the bride and groom use the piper's dirk to cut the cake.
    All skill and effort is to no avail when an angel pees down your drones.

  6. #6
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    Oh man, I almost woke the kids up I was laughing so hard!

    Thanks for that. :-D

  7. #7
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    The highlander was renowned for being over armed whenever possible-swords/pistols etc and more etc.

    Today unless as a part of a uniform-enactement: a skean dhu suffices, and that includes games.

    The thinking being highland dress rather than fancy dress.

    James

  8. #8
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    There might be some kilted military functions where a sword is expected, but other than the aforementioned reenactments and such, swords are not regularly worn. Of course, there may be exceptions here and there, but not as a general rule.
    We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. - Japanese Proverb

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by haukehaien
    The only time the broadsword or claymore should be worn is when attending a highland games. If you choose to go be-sworded, then the rest of your costume should consist of:
    Birkenstocks or other modern sandals
    Blue jeans with rabbit fur leggings held to your ankles/calves with rubber bands. You can stick knives in the rubber bands. Remember, each piece of cutlery adds to your coolness!
    A piece of plaid (NOT tartan) cloth wrapped around your middle and held on with a belt. Extra points if you have a "Star Wars" buckle.
    A T-shirt OR no shirt at all
    Your sword. It should be either a) hanging from a shoelace attached to your belt or b) strapped across your back with leather thongs.
    Blue face paint.
    A helmet with horns on it.

    You'll be the coolest guy there! Make sure to join in the clan procession. Don't know your clan? Then just pick one. Any clan would be proud to count you among its warriors!

    When you talk, try to sound as much like James Doohan on the original "Star Trek" as possible. Tell everyone about how much you hate the English. Join in singing "Flower of Scotland" even though you don't know the words, except "Proud Edward's army ..."

    Go to each of the clan tents and tell them about how you think you might be from their clan. See if they'll give you free stuff.

    Find a piper who is warming up before competition. Ask him/her all about his or her clan. If they don't seem to know or care about their clan, tell them about yours. Don't let them ignore you! After all, if they play the pipes, they MUST be Scottish, right? And they must find your genealogy fascinating as well.

    Follow all this advice, and you'll be the most popular fellow at the games. Really.
    I love this post.
    Virtus Ad Aethera Tendit

  10. #10
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    BTW, the same outfit will work for Ren Faires as well.

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