When I first separated from my ex 5 years-and-change ago, a friend gave me some very good advice as I struggled with my emotions, commitments, etc. The ex had been married three times before, and I had assiduously avoided such commitment (yes, those of you detecting a pattern are more than likely correct).

The advice was, essentially, "People get married for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. You'll have to figure out which applies to you."

Some of the best advice I EVER received. It was all-but-over for the two of us, and I just had to come to grips with that. It took months and months, and I still miss that woman, occasionally. . .

Best of Luck. Find a good friend somewhere who you can talk to about this, with no judgment on that person's part -- just an empathetic listener. However it works out for you, I wish you well.

Mac