First funeral coming up

[Hamish]

Graham,

I am just into Friday (UK time) as I write this and, not having been on-line for over 36 hours, I can only offer my sincerest condolences on the untimely loss of your young friend.

Too late also to comment appropriately on being kilted at funerals, all I can say is that I have attended, I believe, five of these sad ceremonies since being in my 'kilt-only' years - one being that of my own father who probably would not have approved! He saw me only once kilted and, although he was the one with the Scottish mother he admitted, at that meeting, that he did not like what he saw. For some unknown reason he had no desire to acknowledge his Scottish roots and that is why I have such very scant knowledge of them myself.

As for the other funerals I have attended whilst kilted: I have worn various tartans with tweed Argyll jackets, or my grey pinstripe kilt suit - always with a white shirt and black tie as a token of respect.

As with you, people expect me to be kilted nowadays and so I do not recall ever having been thanked for wearing the kilt - nor admonished for doing so. I have certainly never been taken for a piper, possibly because pipers are an extreme rarity at private funerals here** - in fact, I have never attended a funeral at which a piper was present, and I have been to a considerable number of them in recent years. The older one becomes the more funerals there are to attend - or so it seems.

**I have requested that a piper play at my own funeral which I have long-since planned and paid for. Since I have no blood family, I did not want the burden of this to weigh on the shoulders of relative strangers!!

[Graham]

Black tie it will be Hamish, we're leaving in about 60 minutes, better get kilted up!

It's made me think about writing down something for my own funeral, one never knows.

I've been invited by a dear friend who is dying of cancer to actually conduct his funeral service when he dies. That's something I've never done, kilted or otherwise.

Let's hope not too soon..

[Hamish]

Black tie it will be Hamish, we're leaving in about 60 minutes, better get kilted up!

I'll be sound asleep by then Graham, but I'll be thinking of you, and of your friend's family, in my late-night time of reflection.

It's made me think about writing down something for my own funeral, one never knows.

True! I have subscribed to a pre-paid funeral scheme with a local funeral director which means that every last detail has been noted, assessed and paid for - at today's prices, not those of ten or twenty (hopefully) years hence!

I've been invited by a dear friend who is dying of cancer to actually conduct his funeral service when he dies. That's something I've never done, kilted or otherwise.

Let's hope not too soon..

Indeed, let's hope.

I conducted the funeral ceremony for my late partner (undeniably, the most difficult and traumatic thing I have ever had to do). He was deeply spiritual but not religious and did not want any form of prescribed ritual. In retrospect, I was privileged to have been able to do that for him, and I am glad that I did it, but I could not, and would not, do anything like it again. My regret? That it was before my full-time kilting days. It never occurred to me to wear the kilt hanging in my wardrobe, but I know Tom would have approved had I done so.

[KiltedCodeWarrior]

Black tie it will be Hamish, we're leaving in about 60 minutes, better get kilted up!

It's made me think about writing down something for my own funeral, one never knows.

I've been invited by a dear friend who is dying of cancer to actually conduct his funeral service when he dies. That's something I've never done, kilted or otherwise.

Let's hope not too soon..

Graham, God bless in this sorrowful time. I have to echo your thoughts that one never knows. A long-time friend of my father passed on Tuesday and he just received word yesterday because nobody knew how to contact the deceased's friends. He kept all phone numbers in his head. He was only 61 and literally dropped while at work and was dead before he hit the floor. I knew the man as well and he was in fairly good physical condition. He had not made any arangements that we can determine and his family has no idea what to do. My father has gone to try and help and I will likely fly out to join him in the next few days. Though I am still far away from 61, and we have already prepared wills for our daughters sake, I think that we will be updating our own "final wishes" to include directions regarding funerals, burials, etc..

As a brief retrospect, this year we have lost someone close due to liver cancer, which went fairly quickly, but everyone had the chance to say good by and see him before he was gone, and now this loss, where no one had any idea and expected to see him later this week. I am too shocked and befuddled right now to determine which was better. Prior to this, I always said that when I had to go, I wanted it to be quick and fairly painless, or in my sleep. Today, I don't know. Not having a chance to say good bye is rough too.

Graham, I apologize if I have hijacked this thread, but you sharing your loss, and getting news of my father's loss today, has gotten me a little depressed.

Again, my condolences on the loss of your young friend and may she now be in a better place.

Rob I.

[Graham]

Rob, you have no need to apologise to me, I see the post growing rather than highjacking.

It's good to share grief with one another, as Hamish has and Ron in another post.

We've just come back from the funeral, there were many there, overall I found it sad and quite empty, as any funeral is for me when He Who holds the future is left out of the picture.

The kilt was almost a non-event, which was the way i wanted it. This is one time I didn't want the attention.
I only heard one sk*** comment, and that from a friend who attends the same church as the only other full time kiltman in our area! so he should have known better.

Here is a shot my wife took before we left.

The piccie a wee bit dark, the buckle looks gold but is silver, the hose is navy, the tartan Black Watch, USAK PV semi trad.
Thanks Rocky for getting my BW flashes to me just in time.

[KiltedCodeWarrior]

Graham,

Sharing does help! I also found the funeral for my brother in law earlier this year to be sad and empty (first funeral for me since I was a kid).

On a brighter note, very nice picture. I am not surprised that you got no comments. That looks very formal and respectful.

Peace.

[Gary]

Your outfit looks good. The dark colors seem appropriate for this somber occassion. Good choice. My condolences to the family. Losing a child is extremely hard.

Gary

[GMan]

Graham.

A fine tribute you have shown. Such the gentleman that I know you are.

Glen