I confess it...I wear a schmipp

[Riverkilt]

You're just the man to help me Alan.

Was feeding the ducks my old bread yesterday (In the time honored fashion, followed all the rituals perfectly, thank you), but when I'd finished and turned to head home I slipped on a big pile of duck poop and fell on it full force with my massive bum.

The weight of my tail end, and the momentum gained on the way down, forced the duck poop deep into the fabric of the backside of my schimpp. With that duck goo being vegetable matter it seems to have worked like a die and I'm having trouble getting the new color out of the fabric.

I've tried all the usual stain removers, soaking, leaving it under running cold water, there's still a noticeable discoloration.

The only answer I can think of now is to gather as much duck poop as I can, put it in a tub, and soak the entire schimpp in it so the color is the same throughout. In fact, I'm thinking of doing that as sort of a badge of experience....I would think that in ancient times other duck feeders would have surely slipped too and a similarly collored shimpp would be the mark of an experienced and most reverent duck feeder....

Ron

P.S. I'm thinking of using a rubber mallet to duplicate the force of my bum to drive the duck goo well into the fabric. Might not take on the same hue without that extra force. I think I can kneel over the tub, inside the shower curtain, and hose the mess down pretty easily after I'm done thunking the duck poop into the fabric.