kilts, self-image, women and other related thoughts in a jumble

[Blu (Ontario)]

[QUOTE=Alan H]... I will admit that I am sometimes temporarily taken aback by a terribly good-looking woman's initial presence... A woman that honestly did not want to even talk to me casually because I'm not good-looking enough really is not someone I would care to get to know... there IS NO WOMAN WHO IS "OUT OF MY LEAGUE"... They put their pants on one leg at a time... I just happen to have enough self confidence to wear a kilt in "modern North American Society".... it takes some self-confidence... NO man, and NO woman is "Out of your league"... etc. etc. QUOTE]

There is a natural tendancy (in general) to consider well proportioned and handsome people as being superior. It's well documented that, on average, they get more job offers, make higher salaries, advance more quickly and are given more opportunities and more leniency compared to average looking people or folks with weight control problems but with equal or superior qualifications. Like any attribute, people with a nice appearance will use that to their advantage.
I can understand then how somebody who is given preferential treatment throughout their life, because of their appearance, might begin to believe that, in fact, they are superior to the rest of us. Conversly, those of average looks will have had to work harder to achieve the same results and may also come to believe that good looking people are somehow superior. The origins of leagues perhaps.
People also have a tendancy to randomly judge others around them based on an instant cursory glance. Ethnic background, sexual attractiveness, level of prosperity, approachability, etc. are evaluated almost subconciously... a survival mechanism perhaps. We then categorize them with ourselves a s a reference point. What league am I in... what league are they in.
I have seen average looking men with above average looking women and in every case the man looked approachable and had a air of confidence and was well spoken. I don't believe that a kilt "levels the playing field" so much as possibly it gives a man the appearance of being approachable and looking confident. Some people instinctively seem to know how other people tick and are able to use that to their advantage. That's part of what makes some people very successful in a sales career.
Will wearing a kilt change human nature... no. But doing so may somehow be manipulating a variable deep in the evaluation equation tipping the balance a bit.

blu

[pdcorlis]

Uhmmm... I'll have what he's having...

[646guy]

Well said Alan. This of course explains why this forum is so populated by above par people.

-ian

Oh GOd...I'm stepping up in class here...which fork to use...which spoon to use...don't drink from the fingerbowl....IT'S TOO MUCH TO HANDLE...

But seriously...great post....

[highlander_Daz]

Im modern society its tragic how we are judged on how we look, hence many peoples obsession with plastic surgary, and im many cases it does nothing to improve the self esteem if the person haveing the operation.

I was recently at a sports centre and i saw a group of very pretty women going in and out of a room, I asked what was going on inthere and it turned out to be a weight watchers meeting- none of these women looked overweight!!!, they had simply fallen into the trap of believing that they dont conform to what society belives they should look like.

we are all born equal and how we should be measured is by what we do and not how we look, I never wear "sportswear" or "branded" nike hilfigger etc. simply because I choose not to be "the same" as everyone else.


as for women why settle for mcdonalds when you have steak at home!!

[GMan]

Alan,

WOW! What a great post!

Indeed it tells me something about your relationship with your wife, very secure on both of your parts.

You both respect and honor each other, which is a wonderful thing to see. I am glad to call you a friend.

[michael steinrok]

Aye it's true Alan will talk to anyone. He's also manly. There I said it and I'm not even embaressed. He really does talk to everyone!

[auld argonian]

Back when I was single I used to hang out with my buddy John.

Whenever we'd go into a bar full of women he'd always be fixated on the very good looking ones.

One time I threw him for a loop. I said, "Here's the deal: should we luck out and find ourselves in conversation with any of these women, you can have the beautiful ones...I want the interesting ones." I don't know if he ever figured that out....

Best

AA

[GlassMan]

Here's another twist on that whole "first impression" thing.

Many people who are handicapped find that they are descriminated against. It's harder to get jobs, go places, or be taken seriously. A ton of people assume that if you are physically handicapped that you are also mentally handicapped (although the people who make that assumption are displaying their own intellectual limitations).

I have friends who are in wheel chairs and they often complain about going into a store and no one wanting to assist them.

I've almost always had the opposite experience. I always dress well, and seldom go out without a tie. I also don't push myself in my wheelchair. Nopadon always pushes me, he likes to. It makes him feel like he's caring for me, and I enjoy the attention.

But in stores, the employees see a well-dressed man in a wheelchair who is obviously capable of pushing himself but who is being pushed by someone. They immediately assume that I must be wealthy and I wind up being waited on hand and foot. The same thing happens at bars and restaurants. My handicapped friends comment on how hard it is to get a date, and I'm happily-partnered but I still have to beat the gold-diggers off with a stick.

I think it's hilarious how they make an instant decision that is completely irrational. That's why I like to treat everyone exactly the same. My life is a lot more enjoyable that way.

[Rigged]

For you young'uns, before you get deeply involved with someone ask yourself:

1) What is it I like about this person and will those things matter years from now?

2) Will getting involved with this person make my life better or not?

3) If we break up, will this person be a problem for me?

Sherri wants me to get a Chocolate Workman's UK. Bless her heart.

[Graham]

Alan,

Getting mighty deep these days. Got a new bottle of Laphroaig??

That's just what I thought!
Seriously, that's not an insult, I do my deepest thinking in the evening after a couple of drams...but not gypsy-kissed, just thoughtful.

Alan, that was brilliant, and like others I can relate to it. I love the company of woman too and have a wonderful wife that cannot compare with any others I meet.

So does kiltwearing give one greater confidence with women, or does one who has confidence with women have greater confidence in wearing kilts?

Both work together, that's for sure.

Nice thoughts Alan, I could read a lot more of that.