Joke about a Scot

**way2fractious** · 24th February 06, 10:08 AM

Now, y'all, just back off and give Graham a chance to continue practicing for grandfatherhood!

**TimC** · 24th February 06, 10:21 AM

...I'll laugh the next time you tell it as well

**Nick** · 24th February 06, 12:13 PM

A Scottish woman was riding on the top of a bus when she dropped two pence off the side. She dived after the money, and was immediately hit and killed by another bus.

The coroner who examined her body found she died of natural causes.

**UmAnOnion** · 24th February 06, 02:34 PM

found this on the Scot Web Site regarding the reputation Scots have for 'frugality'
Good for a chuckle or two

(or could start a flame war knowing this bunch

)...

1 Copper wire was invented by two Scots fighting over a penny.
2 They heat knives in Scottish restaurants, so you don't use too much butter.
3 A Scotsman never buys an address book. He scores out the people he doesn't know in a telephone directory.
4 Scotsmen started wearing skirts because it was free for women to get into the football.
5 To avoid paying his fare, a Scot invented hiding in a train's toilet.
6 A Scot diving in a puddle to retrieve a five pence piece created Loch Lomond.
7 The most common ailment in Scottish hospitals is backache caused by locals stretching for their wallets.
8 A Scotsman goes to a wedding with elastic on his confetti.
9 If a Scotsman takes a coin out his sporran the queen blinks.
10 A Scotsman invented a cure for seasickness. He leant over the side of a boat with a ten pence in his mouth.

**Iolaus** · 24th February 06, 03:04 PM

10 A Scotsman invented a cure for seasickness. He leant over the side of a boat with a ten pence in his mouth.

That one had me laughing out loud!

**auld argonian** · 24th February 06, 04:32 PM

Perhaps the oldest one I remember hearing is:

The limbo was invented by a Scotsman trying to get into a pay-toilet.

Best

AA

**GlassMan** · 24th February 06, 09:28 PM

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scot walk into a pub. Each orders a pint of beer. Now the pub wasn't the most reputable place and was also not the cleanest. Rather quickly a fly landed in each of their beers. Now the Englishman looked down at his beer and upon seeing the fly shoved it away in disgust. Then the Irishman looked in his beer, picked the fly out and then continued to drink. But they both looked over when the Scot reached into his beer, carefully picked the fly out, and then began tapping on it's back while yelling "Spit It Out, Spit It Out!"