ta fur sich a guid welcome....

warm enough the dee tae wear my kilt tae the pub...

it is day 2 o' the smokin' ban here... nay maire reekin... maks the pub soooo mooch better...

had a guid blether an a few guid wee hafs o malt....

there wuz an awfy bonnie lass workin the bar.... an she wuz quite taken wit me kilt...

sha asked the age auld question, "what's under your kilt"

"dahlin'" I seez, "oan a guid dee, lipstick!"