Kilted at a Strip Club???

[Tartan Hiker]

OK, I'm looking for some advice from the experienced men here...

I'll be attending a wedding and all the usual pre-nuptual parties. One of the places the bride and groom insist on taking my wife and I is to their favorite strip club...allegedly a very nice one. I was planning on wearing my SWK Wallace. I am not one to frequent such establishments and am not sure how I might be received.

Is this, perhaps, a really bad idea?

[Big Dave]

Is this, perhaps, a really bad idea?

Not unless you don't like attention.

[Angus MacSpey]

How funny... last time I was at a ****** bar (can I say that?) the thought occurred to me that a lap dance would be much more interesting were I wearing a kilt.

Haven't had the chance to test that theory yet, though, since the only time I seem to wind up there is when I'm playing designated driver for my crew. (I'm just helpful and responsible that way - plus they pay for gas, cover charges, $1's, etc.)

I really don't think the strippers will mind - your money is as green as anyone else's. Never hurts to be generous, though. That's got to be a tough job.

No, you cannot say that. - Mike

[Wompet]

I remember somebody here posting about wearing a kilt to a club, but I can't remember who ... anyone?

[Kilted KT]

That was me....let me see if I can find the post.


ahh...here it is...

Ahh..the perfect location to be kilted. At the nudie bar.

Last october a co-worker was getting married, so a few of us went to the finest adult establishment in town. Here they wear bottoms ( can't call them much more than dental floss) and there is no touching allowed.

Now to the fun part.

the first three of us to arrive ( the groom-to-be, another co-worker and myself) walked into the establishment. We had made it no further than three steps in, and a few of the "employees" approached with the expected barrage of kilt questions.

two or three rather thorough kilt checks later, we sat down. Before we could even order a beer, I was apporached by one of the more talented entertainers and was asked if she could give me a lapdance..FREE. Being an honorable scotsman, I couldn't refuse the lass's request. She found the entire concept of giving a lapdance to a man in a kilt completely amazing. I will have to say it was the more enthusiastic performances I had experienced in such an establishment in a great many years.

Over the next few hours, a whole lot more of the above went on...and the rest of my groups benifited as well with several bouts of free "entertainment". Couldn't talk them out of free drinks, though. Have to work on that next time.

As we left, we took a rough count of how much we spent as a group, and how much we should have spent. We figured that we spent less than 1/3rd the total actual cost of the evening.

The one thing that really threw me was when a pair of "employees" asked me to give them a lapdance! Being completely shocked ( and regimental ) I declined, as I couldn't come up with a way to accomidate their request without breaking a great many of the indecent exposure laws of this state!


suffice it to say that fun was had by all.

the only difficult part was figuring out what to do with the sporran for a lapdance. The shapely young woman said it best, "That might get in the way"...

...and yes, it was removed instantly.

I have a few words of advice.

1. Go regimental. Every 'employee' will check, so you better be sure you are prepared.

2. Be sure your sporran is easily removed ( by you ). Should you decide to partake in a lapdance ( or whatever they are called where you are going) the sporran is instantly your worst enemy.

3. have no fear.. I promise you will be the most popular guy in the bar, especially with the employees. Go with it, because it doesn't happen often.

You will have a hell of a time, just make sure the groom to be gets some attention.

As for your wife...well...female strippers usually take extra special care of their female...hmm..'customers', so be sure she has a few drinks in her, and enjoy the evening.

oh, before I forget...be 100% certain the wife doesn't get too randy in the club...the easy access of the kilt may "provoke" her a bit too early. At least make it out of the club.

[JayFilomena]

I was at a strip club once, when I turned 18, and that was 18 years ago. I went with a bunch of Marines. Didnt take me long to figure out that i left with no money, and had no girl to show for it. Anyway, from the few guys that I know and the kind of club it was, if I had been kilted, there would have been a fight. If it is a classy place, like Kilted KT whent to, you should have no problem. If it is a dive...well, I hope you like to scrap. In my experience and not saying universal, just what I am used to; small gatherings with minior amounts of alcohol, kilt is received well. Large crowds with lots of alcohol...people get their beer balls. There was also a New Years thread, where the bouncer at the door to a club would not let the Kilted person in because there was a "no shorts" policy. Maybe call ahead and ask the manager, or keep a pair of pants in the car just in case.

[Moosehead]

Two words of advice: don't go!

I can pretty much guarantee that if the bride and groom want to take you and the wife, it will not be a fun time. Kilted or not, they are just looking for a fight. Even if they aren't, you'll get one.

[/Dr. Phil Mode]

[BLAZN]

I'd say it all depends on how open minded your wife is. Mine wouldn't have it at all.

Here's to making the right decision:

[GlassMan]

I've never been a big fan of strip clubs or lap dances. Seems like a great way to separate you from your money and leave you with nothing tangible in return.

As for a lap dance, what's the fun of having someone hot that close if you're not allowed to touch?

[KiltedKnight]

Not allowed to touch? I served 21 years in the Army all over the world with much better bars than we have here in America, much better. Improvise, adapt, overcome.


Chris. :confused: